Javed naam hai mera phir se

Chapter 5

- What is it, Arnav? Did he show up? I haven't got any such reports but...

That was Jev who stormed in Arnav's office ready to crush invisible enemies if needed. His hair was a mess, his stubble was a week old, he was wearing his travel clothes - Arnav figured Jev came to his office straight from the airport after ten hour flight from Toronto. And all it took was Arnav's message "Come at once, we need you". But then again - Arnav knew that it would happen exactly like this... Jev was his best friend for a reason!

- It's Di... I need you to...

- Anjali...

Javed's voice was pained as he considered all the terrible things Shyam could've done to her for revenge on Raizada's family. Arnav hurried to stop him on this track:

- Oh, no, she's ok! More than ok, actually! She... she started to work here. As an assistant designer.

Jev breathed a sigh of relief and wandered:

- And? How exactly this constitutes a "life threat situation" you've hollered me here with? I mean... it's a good thing she wants to move on with her life, right? Why do you need me?

His voice was harsh, bordering with hostile. Arnav understood the angst but on the same time was not going to take a scolding from the guy who was four month older to him!

- Jev, don't play stupid! I didn't call you here to tell the news!

Javed dropped himself in one of Arnav's chairs and smiled lazily:

- Then why did you? Missed my charming personality? Or does you wife need a shopping companion?

Jev was back to relaxed yet bitter himself but Arnav could see through that so he went on:

- Cut the act, Jev, I'm not impressed! I called you here because she won't take the car! Di took it upon herself to be "her own person" and decided to take bus to work! And she's not even working in my main office, she's been moved to our back office to supervise internship program. I tried assigning her guardian trail, but you know how this public transport is! They've lost her twice this week! What if one of these times they won't find her? I'm not willing to take this risk just for the sake of her independence! Do you?!

Arnav was screaming by this point - and Javed understood him perfectly. No, he was not willing to risk Anjali's life for anything. At all.

- Fire her, - came his simple conclusion.

Arnav shuffled his hair, his expression was desperate:

- I can't! You should've seen her, Jev! She... shines! Di so belongs with this job! She's really good at it too! I can't fire her just like this... and if I tell her the real reason... it would mean that that man took something she loved yet once again... I just can't do it to her, Jev, I can't!

Shines... It's been a while since anybody described Anjali with these words. Because it was a while since she shined. But Javed still remembered this warm feeling of joy and piece that she emitted when she was happy. He fought with himself to forget it - but the moment Arnav said "she shines" Jev wanted nothing more than to see her... Just once see her happy again.

Javed hissed through clenched teeth:

- What do you want with me then? Do you think I can talk her into taking a driver?

Arnav looked away - that was his tell that Jev wouldn't like Arnav's idea. True - idea was no good, really terrible!

- Jev, you also work at that office... You could drop her off... She wouldn't reject you...

Javed gasped in disbelief:

- You want to guilt your sister in driving with me?!

The most terrible thing was that somewhere deep down inside Javed understood Arnav's reasoning. Moreover - normally he would consider it to be a very clever move - to use someone's broken heart as a bargaining chip in a guilt game. If it wasn't his own broken heart. If it wasn't Anjali who's guilt they were going to utilize.

He shrugged, his body was constricting with physical pain. Yes, it had to be him because only he would protect Anjali with his own life... He knew that much. But... this plan also implied so much pain. Not the pain of seeing her - that was the sweetest pain of his existence, he learned to appreciate the bitter taste of it... Only this time it would be mixed with her guilt and pity and awkwardness. And he couldn't endure her pity. But he would. Because it had to be him.

But before Javed had a chance to voice his resolution Arnav read his pained expression differently - and almost shouted his accusation:

- Do you really think that your demons are more important than my sister's safety? Are you going to leave her like that just to hide from her forever and ever? Are you that much of a coward?

That was not right. Arnav knew it the minute these words left his mouth. He saw it in Jev's stiffed posture, his clenched fists, his incredulous expression. But there's a thing with spoken words - they cannot be erased with Delete button. Arnav tried mending the damage with softer words:

- Jev, believe me, I know how it is, I've been there...

He couldn't finish his sentence because Jev stood up abruptly and came dangerously close to him with murderous expression Arnav wished he'd never seen on his friend's face. Jev's words were filled with anger and agony, they were flowing as if some inner wall was breached and nothing was holding these dreadful emotions anymore... Jev shouted back at Arnav:

- You think YOU know? You were jealous about things you have IMAGINED yourself! If you ever bothered to look closer you'd see that there was no one but you in Khushi's life! No one! And you still think you had it hard?

Jev's voice broke as he continued:

- I didn't even have a fighting chance! Because women I love was HAPPY with someone else! I'd seen her admire OTHER man, I'd seen her blushing on OTHER'S man compliments, I've heard her happy laughter on OTHER'S man words... Every family picture, every invitation for festive occasions you'd sent me, every time you were complaining that Anjali is sick because of yet another fast she was holding... It was killing me, Arnav! I was dying for eight years and you're telling me you know what it's like?!

Arnav tried to say something... but what could he say? And Jev wouldn't listen anyways - he went completely lost in his sad realities:

- Arnav, you know, I love you like brother... And I would never trade our friendship for anything in this world... But... but... not a day has passed when I was thinking "what if"? What if she'd never knew me as her Chote's friend? What if she'd never tried to be my big sister too?

Arnav's shocked expression registered in Jev's clouded mind and he reassured him once again:

- No, man, I don't want to take these years back. You are my brother, nothing will change that.

He turned around to leave and said:

- I will drive Anjali to the office for as long as it'll take us to catch that bastard. She will be safe, I swear. Just... Arnav, please, don't ever say that you know what it's like... I pray to Allah that you would never have to know it.

And with that he has shut the door behind him. Leaving Arnav shattered and emptied. His brother was in pain... and Arnav was scared to try to understand this pain.