Wish of a last breath

The Guilt

Note: Story belongs totally to the writer not copied or stolen, some scenarios can be felt copied from any source but they are modified too..... 

Here the story revolves around a man whose lady love Sanjana left him because of the false accusations of being in extra marital affair with one of his friend by his sister Aliya, her friend Tania and his other family members and realizing the truth he is drowning in guilt as this all happened all of the sudden and he was unable to figure out what is truth what is a lie doubting upon the one who was more trust worthy lets go ahead and see the scenario....

She left me like that only without saying a word that day but what was my mistake? No one can tell me that what was my mistake weather my mistake was, I just thought about her and asked her to keep quiet that day! or my mistake was, I was thinking that not to hurt her that much that she could break down, everyone looked that I was about to slap her but no one understood that why I was about to raise my hand, I did It because she was lying that day, I knew it that she was irritated with my behavior that I didn't believed her and rather than believing her I believed Tania who was no one to me and this was the breaking point for her, she was totally shattered with that. I know it very well but how to make her understand that I did that because I believed her I was believing that it was the trap which was against her and wanted to resolve that matter but her anger made everything worst that anger towards her of mine wasn't because I thought that she was having affair with that idiot Ranjan but I was angry that why she lied? But anyways the mistake was mine, I would have told her later after the party which I didn't, after all it was her birthday and everyone wish to be happiest person on their birthday, but what I did hiding all that I made her to remember her worst birthday ever I still remember what she wrote on the letter which she left for me that night it was written there that "I have no faith over love anymore thank you Mr. Virat thanks a lot for that and for this black birthday too..." those words still there on my mind when I read that, after all what she got after being with me!! Nothing else rather than humiliation by my family which was only because she wasn't belonging to our high society personality she wasn't having that fame which I was carrying everywhere, and all thanks to my grandmother that she was always with my other family members just to humiliate her as much she can, Sanjana always opposed everything just to secure her self-respect rather than getting humiliated every time by everyone because her thoughts were
"If this is the situation before marriage itself what will happen later?" and I always assured her that nothing would happen everything would be fine but our lives gone miserable it turned into the bad dreams as my own family members never left a chance to tamper her sayings and the left over things were covered up by the teachings of cheap TV serials. This is the part of that itself this time the blame was of "Extra Marital Affair" just because they wanted her to be out of this house and the all was set up by my own grandmother and I was again covered in the sheet of silence with blind fold eyes unable to know about right and wrong, what would I have done If I knew it because she is elder than me, I can't complaint her too, what can I do now! nothing is there for me to do, nothing came in my hand... now also I am alone, that time also I was alone... why all this happened to me only? because I never try to understand what is going on in front of me my own people always brain washed me and I always did wrong. Once the misunderstanding grew so hard that I did what I shouldn't, girl who is the reason of my happiness I tortured her like hell but at one side I was dying in guilt that why am I doing so and why? Alas I didn't get the answer and that was time when she finally decided to live an independent life rather than getting humiliated again and again and having a coward companion like me, according to me she did right because I don't deserve that pure heart. I don't deserve her, she left that letter for me that "everything is yours, your family, your decisions, your life, I just became a puppet doll after getting with you but you know what? Let it be... forgiving everything what you did or what I get I am letting you to live with your everything it would be better for both of us because in our happiness we are making everyone filled with sorrows and bitterness in behavior so it's better to get part away...." but she didn't even thought that the one which is mine is going far away from me... yes she is mine my life my everything but now nothing is left to say as I don't want any of that things which made me stay far from her... now I am here on the bed of the hospital fighting in mid of my death and life and you know why!!! because I met with an accident. I was so stubborn that after she said that don't try to search her.... I went, she was right that I will surely try to search her and I did so... to my surprise she was with Kabir that time, went there to tell him good bye and on right time I reached there she was about to leave I caught her and asked him to leave us alone because today I want to talk with not my wife or my friend but today I want to talk with that girl who had lost the courage of tolerating anything and that too because of me. I wanted to ask her that if she decided to leave me then why she said that she will one of the most beautiful moment of my life, I wanted to ask her that wasn't she able to wait for a day to let me find out the truth?? that all had done conspiracy against her!!!! wasn't it my responsibility to control her when she was going to do wrong for herself by confessing the that fake affair!!!! everyone would have blamed her and it wasn't tolerable for me.... I wanted to ask her that if dadi asked her to create this mess!!! then wasn't she had trust on me that I will trust her words more than any proof!!! why she didn't tell me the truth?? all the while I was eager to know that only and what she answered to me was also right

she said to me that "try to find the answer to yourself" and saying this she left from there and I was thinking that what her words meant did she indirectly said to me that I was not ready to believe what is going on in my surrounding?? did she meant that I was not ready to listen her even for once????? I wasn't ready to accept anything which was against her?? what was she trying to say is that the same what I am thinking?? if is it so then again it is my mistake and because of this reason she didn't even told me once that what conspiracy was going on in my surrounding. Why I am like this? Why my nature is so easy that I can be trapped in any manipulative things so easily and alter to that if someone will tell me right why I use to resist the right things happening beside me why? This why is the question and I had to find these answers that why all this happened to me and I came to a conclusion that this all happened because of the sudden raise in my success yes it is because I asked this same to Granny and she told me that I am a blind faith person who just believes in I, ME and MYSELF never want to listen others who are saying right... she said to me that "Virat I said you to stop at a point where we were getting enough but you didn't you wished for more then also you didn't listened to me then I said that Tania is not good for you and you again didn't listened to me you neglected my words saying that she is your match she have money and power like you she is perfect for me and again I agreed over that now think up of yourself that what you have done in your past and what you are doing" and saying this she left me and I was remain in thoughts that she is saying right in my whole life I have done only mistakes it was my mistake only that my sister turned out to be a money minded person she doesn't cares about her brother anymore... the one she want is money only money. I wish I could rectify all that so I can get my sister back, I can get back love of my family and more than that I can get her back in my life but what to do now... nothing can't happen... today I am remembering my teachers words she always use to say that "you know what is the meaning that you write with pens in your secondary section it means that from now whatever the mistake you will do it is not erasable you can't erase it you have to face it so take a step ahead very carefully this is not your primary where you were supposed to do the mistake and everyone use to forgive you that mistake was pencil and forgiveness was eraser but here the mistake is pen and there is no eraser to erase it" now I got it why she said that now I understood that what does this lines means it means whatever mistake has happened with me I can't rectify it the only thing which is left with me is guilt... the guilt of achieving this much success that my own people forgot to face the reality... guilt of giving this much extended love to my family who became like this because of that love and guilt of thinking that I have standard and I can't return to normal life now from luxurious life more than that I have guilt that I didn't understood the selfless love of that girl whom I married assuring that everything will be normal once we get together... that guilt is to such extent that if I will live 100 lives for it I won't be able to rectify it I know she loves me and she will come to see me for sure but when will she come... and will I be able to take my last breath that time what if she didn't came to meet me what will I do I know she will come because she is not a stone hearted or low hearted like us she is precious I know she will come for sure......