-Between Three Worlds-

My "disease"

Hi. My life is complicated: Way too complicated to explain it trough a piece of paper and a pen; way too complicated to explain it through words; way too complicated to explain it at all.

But let me summarise a little detail for you in three words: I am dead ... or that's how my mother, my stepfather, and my sister like to call it "the death disease" This could be something new for you or not new at all, but at the moment I am the only one 'alive' suffering this condition.

When I was four years old I had my first panic attack -I know that's common, but keep reading-My mother immediately took me to the nearest hospital, the only problem was that we lived two hours away from it. When we were on our way my mother told me that I passed out four times, but I don't remember at all, I just remember that that day I saw my father for the first time in four years, the thing is that he is dead, actual dead. He died saving a family at a house on fire, not rare, 'cause guess what? he was a fireman. My mother always wants me to remember him as a hero, but I can't, I don't know why. I feel that something is wrong with the story, something doesn't fit, he didn't die like that, and someday I am going to prove it, I am going to bring the truth, but for the moment im okay "living" this way -if you can call it living- Keeping up with my long way to the hospital - long as a travel from USA to China- after two hours and a half I arrived. My mother was so scared that she yelled at the doctors until they checked me up:

- heart rate, ok

- breathing, ok

- "how do you feel" "ok"

Everything was "ok" except for everything, I presented death signals: My skin was turning a little bit green-purple; the living cells in my nails stopped reproducing and so did they; my mind collapsed, sometimes I was on Earth and sometimes on Mars; I couldn't process information; everything was dark-coloured; and something inside me wasn't okay, a lot of things inside me weren't okay. From that day I started thinking that maybe I didn't pass out in the car, maybe I was dead, maybe that's why I saw my father, and maybe that's why my life is like it is right now.

And that's how everything started, just a simple panic attack, just a simple ride to the hospital, just a simple visit to my father's world.