Awaiting My Prince Charming

The chance

I had the chance to change it all.

These rags into riches, for my hair to be changed to locks, and have a chance to be different. If i waited. Patience.

It was the key. The key to hope. The key to my future. The key to be free.

But it was futile now. Hopeless. Useless. A waste of space. A weapon used by many. A subject to be tested on. I was.

Maybe I should not have said things to hurt others. Or maybe they were just trying to make me feel bad. And maybe they were just pulling my leg...

But it does not matter anyway. I got used to this treatment. How i feel is not necessarily important to them. It is not required for them to know how i feel.

No. Dont let them know at all. It pains me to see them smile. It pains me to fake a smile too. Yet i have to. Fake a smile. Dont let them know how much you feel. This. This facade of a mask. Was what. I felt.

This mask shall be broken. By someone who understood me. Who would agree to my points of view. Who would stand by my side. And help me hand in hand. Soon..

By then and now, i was 15. My feelings solved themselves, and i would be sitting alone in class. Alone in my own space. It was perfect. With no one to bother me. No one to disturb me. And no one to talk to me while i study. But then again, theres no one to discuss with. Or no one to play around with. Moreover, no one to care for me.

It was lonely. It has always been. In my heart, the darkness will never disappear. The pain will continue to burn as long as i live.

The path i have chosen, was ridiculous. Yet the most thoughtful path yet.

It was smart, yet distanced from others. I dont even know which i should side on.. I dont even remember my point of living. To eat? To sleep? To enjoy natures course of life?

To think, to dream, to be free of the curse. The curse of being like this. Unattractive, weird, lonely, and all these factors cause harm onto oneself. And it hurts when people call me names.

It wont hurt to mention a few i've been called all my life, but it wont be any different. Its useless to even think of getting free. It useless to think that patience was the key all this time.

It was stupid of me to think my prince charming had arrived. It was callous of me to had assumed i could have gotten a good ending, like all those fairytales i read.

All those stories of love i've heard. All those feelings that had been bottled up, i never should have gotten the thought of that angel of music would appear. Movies i've watched with finding true love. Endless. Yet it seemed tough to get a good end like all of those princesses.

Maybe i was a princess as well, i used to think. Maybe, something has to happen before i bump into mr right. What was that?

Accidents?

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--to be continued as writersan cant think anymore. Its 6.20 in the morning here. And shes been writing other stories--

Writers note:

Yes yes, theres alot of clues in this story. and some lead to clues about me. watch out for them if you want to get to know me more. HAHA

Chapter two should be out soon. Like maybe today, or tomorrow.

Im writersan; saying yoroshiku!