Hunger

I wasn't expecting anything that night to actually turn out enjoyable. The only reason I even accepted the invitation is because of Sarah. I've known Sarah for maybe six months now, I had to make a new group of friends due to an incident at my older school, but my only option was a school for troubled teens. Its proven to be an incredibly interesting experience, I have met the most interesting, and weirdest people of my entire life. I proved to be quite socially successful, but not in all the ways I had hoped. Everyone seemed to connect to me. I found that for some reason I was capable of making friends with everyone I came across at my new school, and came to be quite popular. Yet in the department of romance I still found myself alone. I wasn't excessively bothered by this, as many girls still attempted to win my favor, but the only one ever on my mind was Sarah. I wish I didn't hold any feelings for her, then I wouldn't have agreed to just hangout and drink with some mutual friends at her parent's cabin for the weekend, as I held distaste for all of these friends. If I just refused I wouldn't find myself where I am now. My future, gone. My heart, faithless. My mind, hopeless. If I refused then maybe I wouldn't have found myself staring into the abyss of infinity, feeling the indomitable blackness encroach on my soul and suffocate me, however, if my mind is still capable of retaining one thing without distortion and madness warping it beyond recognition, it is the realization that none of my choices would have mattered anyway.

When I arrived, I realized I was the last one to do so. This might be because of the little care I hold for almost all of these people, but I have found not caring about these people, while putting on a smiling face, is really the formula for their affection. They seem to be masochistic in their social desires. The first face I saw upon my arrival belonged to Daniel, a tall, muscular, jock-type. Upon first seeing him, most people form an immediate judgement that he is nothing more than some ripped dickhead. However, if you actually crack that muscular exterior of his, he can prove to actually be a rather thoughtful guy. He was taking a piss outside when I saw him, and zipped up to greet me.

"Damn Oliver, took you fuckin' long enough! We were gonna wait for you to crack open the beer, but after an hour decided fuck it. What was the holdup?"

"Sorry, some family stuff just got in the way, I got here as fast as I could man! Everyone inside and drinking already I guess?"

"Ya c'mon, you need to catch up."

Daniel proceeded to drag me inside, and wrapped his arm around my shoulder as if to present me as some sort of great discovery. Soon after coming to this school, I discovered that these people are very touchy, more than I was used to, but I adapted.

"Look who just happened to stop by! Our lovely lil' boy here. I think that he may be thirsty after his long drive..."

Dana shoved a warm beer into my hand almost immediately, as I was thrust into a circle of chatting friends in the living room by the fire, they were probably eager for the ambiance, considering it wasn't even dark out yet. Sarah approached me with a bowl in her hand,

"Throw your keys in here, we'll grab em all back at the end of the weekend."

I proceeded to place my keys in the bowl, and sat in the circle of many known faces, however whether I truly knew some of them was in question, I wasn't very close to Kaitlyn or Tim, but they seemed nice enough. Kaitlyn was a tall girl, with a very light complexion, and dark hair, she was actually quite beautiful, her green eyes stood out. Tim was a small, lanky guy, but he already seemed pretty boisterous and fun, trying to get everyone to shotgun their beers, and loudly proclaiming that he was the King of Beer after beating Daniel in a chugging contest.

It somehow does not surprise me that she is eager for me to start drinking. Being quite new to the world of dating, earlier this year she would frequently invite me to events with multiple people, and then act surprised when none of them showed up for various reasons. I didn't like that move, it was spineless, and resulted in many awkward lunches. I stopped accepting her invitations after the third time. This may sound rude, but honestly, her face just didn't pull me in. She wasn't repulsive or anything like that, but very plain, and rather homely. Straight blonde hair, she always wanted it perfectly straight, and a perfectly average body. If she had something about her personality that was quite interesting, then I would have accepted her invitations after the third time, however everything about her was, in truth, rather dull. Why she seemed to hold interest in me is a mystery, but you're attracted to who you're attracted to, and I wasn't attracted to her.