Thanks For The Memories

Chapter Nine

I was speechless. I literally had to stop kissing to comprehend what he was saying to me. He asked, "What? Did I say something wrong?"

I shook my head, "No not even close....I love you so much, Pete. I know and I think I've known for quite sometime now that I want to marry you..."

Pete smiled and said, "When you know, you know. I don't know how much longer I have in this world, but however that amount of time is I want to spend every waking moment with you because goddamnit, Patrick Stump, you are the love of my life! As I once read, 'I'm in love with you and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things.'"

I kissed him. I was madly in love with him. There was no part of me that could ever get sick of any part of him. He was the most perfect and beautiful human being I have ever set my eyes on. I wouldn't want to be with anyone other than him. I wanted to ask him to marry me so much, but at the same time I couldn't because it hasn't been long enough.

Of course I knew I'd one day want to marry him. I didn't want him to think it was too soon. We both knew we loved each other. Wasn't that good enough? I don't need any marriage license or some ring placed on the finger to the right of my pinky on my left hand to tell me that he was the love of my life.

I'm eighteen. Yes, that can be considered young, but coming from someone who's parents are divorced and has never believed in love before or could ever trust someone. I knew it was love. I used to believe it wasn't easy to love, but falling for Pete was the simplest act I have ever done. Trust was an imaginary being, but he showed me I could trust as he had showed me I could love.

If this wasn't love, then I didn't know what the meaning of life was anymore. A life isn't worth living unless you have someone or something worth loving.

I pulled away from Pete, "I really truly love you. I don't say that in a way that should be taken lightly. I do. I completely and utterly mean it. I want to have a forever with you. I am absolutely and unconditionally in love with you, Pete Wentz."

His bright smile shown, "And as I for you, Patrick Stump. Now if you please, love, would you mind handing me my shampoo so we can take our shower and stop turning so pruney."

I laughed, "Of course."

*****

That night I sat there, awake. I was in his bed again. He was asleep wrapped in my arms as Monsters Inc. played in the backround (He liked to tell me how interesting he thought the plot was and what Disney was trying to interpret in making the film; in fact he made up a theme for it: Sometimes you can't always choose who you love. No matter what you choose, you will protect them in all costs. But to remember this: You are what you love, not who loves you.).

If I am what I love then does that make me a tattoo-inked-emo-hair-wearing-toothy-smiling-toned-tan-beautiful-creature? Because if so I'm loving it.

Normally I'm not a song writer, but this really great idea of a song came to my head. I went into my room and I started writing, "I don't know where you're going, but do you got room for one more troubled soul? I don't know where I'm going. But I don't think I'm coming home and I said, I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead."

It reminded me of the situation in a non-direct way. I needed to get some sleep though. I put the pen and paper inside my drawer. I didn't want Pete to see it yet.

I snuck back into bed in his arms. We had a big day ahead of us...he was going to meet my mom.

*****

I sat beside Pete in the car. We were driving through town to get to my mother's house. He said he could drive even though I didn't know if he knew where he was going. I trusted him nonetheless.