if only...

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if only i could drown until the last breath is ripped from me.

if only i could cut and cut until every last drop of blood is drained from me. 

if only i could fall asleep and never wake up.

if only i could jump of a bridge and never stop falling. 

if only i could run and run until my legs give in and i break down. 

if only i could walk into my shadow and never come out.

if only i could pass out and get wrapped in darkness and never be freed. 

if only i could make people see the pain i go through. 

if only i could die in a world of pain and sorrow. 

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