Mom: "Don't call me genius, or you'll regret it."
Also Mom: "Genius"
"Idiot."
"Dumbass."
"Blind git."
"You look six months pregnant."
"Pig."
"Moron."
"Don't Blank or I'll will beat you right here in front of everyone."
"You disgust me."
"You horrible child."
"Fucking ungrateful git."
"Stop bitching."
"Is that why you think you're lesbian?" (Weirdly, she never brought this up again.)
Yes mother, I'm a horrible person for losing my headphones for five minutes.
And then finding them again.
Oh the humanity.
