1)
A: Why are you late?
B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
B: No, I was standing on it.
2)
A student is talking to his teacher.
Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"
teacher:" Of course not."
Student: "Good, because I haven't done my homework."
3)
A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.
4)
A woman went shopping.
At cash counter she opened her purse to pay.
The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.
He couldn’t control his curiosity n asked “Do you always carry your TV remote with you?”
She replied ” No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today.. !!
Poor Husband
Boss:There are 50 bricks on an aeroplane. If you drop 1 outside. How many are left?
Employee: That's easy, 49.
Boss : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?
Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge
Boss : What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.
Boss : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?
Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.
Boss : How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?
Employee : She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday
Boss : Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?
Employee : Er....I guess she drowned....err...
Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the aeroplane . Thats the problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!
MORAL: 'No matter how much you know or how much you are prepared . If your Boss has decided to screw you then you are surely screwed .'
