Hello cruel world, just a night again where you've left me alone to my darkest inner demons. The sound of crickets making racket. And the slight creaking of wood from my house. Cant sleep. To many thoughts. About my dad, whos dead, about my grandma with pnemonia in both lungs, about the two aunts I lost. About my mind, that too I have lost. I can only trust myself sometimes. This isn't a story, its one of my famous rambles. But just to let you all fucking know, I am bloody fine. Brilliant. *lies all lies lies all lies lies all lies lies all lies lies*
Keeping a smile on my face, its a mask. A charade. I am broken, breaking, cracking. My mind shattered into tiny peices, sharp like a broken mirrors glass. But dull and dusty as if its old. Yes old. Very old. Old old old! Rambles nonsense. Nonsense? No sense. Yes sense. Much sense. Hi i am broken. I mean alex.
Have I possibly lost it all? Finally shattered thanks to my own deceptive mind? Or the brutal voices in my head. Telling me to end it all. To say good bye.
But yet a tiny, quiet, forgotten voice using all its energy to tell me to keep going. For them. Your family and friends. But why must I? Am i selfish for wanting to end it all? Yes selfish, conceited. Forgotten? Maybe. Alone. For sure.
