17 year old ; totally fucked up ; lost ; depressed , name a problem and I've been through it.
I can't even end my life , too many responsibilities. ugh, sometimes i just want an escape from the reality! clique but can't help it.
June 15th , 2016 ; i woke up. time was around 7 in the morning. Everyday when i wake up, there's this feeling i can't actually explain it. Its like this deep guilt and pain in my heart that i'm not living life right and this isn't the place where i was suppose to be.
However, i managed to get myself together to face the world.I rushed to school while listening silence in the house which quotes the immense vulnerability in the family as my parents sat at the dining table.
On my way, I kept on wandering my mind about how my life would be if I was the Vanessa from the class who always go to amazing trips or Rebecca who sang so beautifully that a music label hired her.
My life consisted of alot of confusions and self doubts but one thing was crystal clear to me, this isn't where I was suppose to be.
At around 5 in the evening my class ended.
I didnt felt like going back home. I decided to wander around the places. Where? I honestly didn't knew but for a while i wanted a break from this suffocating routine.I kept on walking. When I initiated my seventeenth step ,a tear dripped from my right eyes. soon me eyes cried an ocean.
An ocean of sadness, stress and lost hopes.I found myself in this place where the sun was setting and the river in front reflected the colors the sun was taking with it.
I sat there. Could'nt stop my mind from wandering into places. DARK places.
Via my prespective ; it seems like I'm living such a tragic life. However, I have everything ~ family, friends, healthy life, etc etc.
I have everything yet nothing.
YOU ARE READING
ESCAPE.
RandomRośe , living with multiple complications and greifs in a stucked life wanting an Escape.