Dallas Additions

chapter 6

"Jack." I smiled, "I missed you." By this point the girls had already run up to give Jack a hug.

"I missed you too". Jack released from the girls and walked over to me, noticing the bulge under my breasts. He took his hands and grabbed the bump, looked down at it and then at me. "You're pregnant?" The corners of his lips went up.

"Yeah..it's a boy." I said, smiling placing my hands over Jacks hands.

In that moment I felt as if the world stopped. I felt all my worries wash away as Jack held me close. A tear fell down my face. In this moment I felt loved again.

We walked over to the couch in my small apartment and sat down. "How are you?" He asked.

"Honestly.." I started shamefully, looking around making sure the girls weren't nearby. "Honestly I've never been worse. It's been too much. I have a job that barely pays the rent and on top of that I'm paying for daycare because the girls can't stay home by themselves and on top of that I have to worry about my pregnancy and being a good mom...especially when they don't even understand why they can't see their father." I sigh. "It's all too much for a girl with a broken heart".

Jack nodded his head. I could tell in his eyes that he genuinely felt bad for me. I've been depressed, unable to get out of bed. "And the thing is Jack, they're threatening to take my job from me. I'm not attending meetings because I'm so busy, I'm having panic attacks in the middle of teaching...I'm a wreck." I never admitted to someone how badly I felt and I just couldn't take holding it all in. I cried, for the first time since I saw Cameron in our master bed room taking away every ounce of trust I had in him.

"Jessa." Jack started. "I'm here for you. This is temporary...these feelings aren't going to last forever. What he..." he paused, "What Cameron did to you was fucked up, what he did not only affected you, but your children. He's a selfish guy Jessa...you can't keep holding on to him. He didn't care about you."

"He did care about me!" I yelled, not even caring the girls were in the room right next to us. Why do I still love him? Why do I still defend him?

"Jessa, a man who cares about you doesn't go behind your back and do things with other women. That Jessa is selfish. Selfish people only care about themselves." Jack said in whisper yell. He was right.

I broke down. For the first time in forever I broke down in front of my girls. I was so tired of feeling so betrayed I just couldn't handle it anymore.

"Blaire, bring Jilly to your room. Mommys ok, she just needs a cool down." Jack said to Blaire as he held my hand. Blaire nodded and walked to her room as Jillian followed behind.

"Jack, I feel like I'm on a tightrope. One wrong move or one wrong emotion and I'm done, I'm dead. I can't keep acting like I'm ok, because I'm not ok. It's one thing to hear about your husband cheating on you, but to watch it happen in front of your eyes...Jack I've never been so messed up in my entire life. Every time I look into my girls eyes I see him, I see him in our room loving another girl. I can't even look at my kids without seeing him. That moment is stuck in my brain and I don't think it'll ever come out!" I brought myself to the floor. I was crying so much I was forgetting to breath.

"Listen to me. I know this messed you up more than anything, but it's time to start over." Jack said rubbing my back, "I'm here Jessa. I'll always be here." He took his hand and lifted up my face. He brought it close to his and softly kissed my lips. "I'm not going anywhere."