Fading. Help.

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Okay. I don't even know what to say. I mean I guess I'll start here. So I was bullied. It got worse. I went to the principle and he said some of the stuff they were saying is harassment. Harassment. Now that's a horrible word. So I got to a dark place. Not just because of bullying. Friends, family and other shit. I started cutting. I cried a lot. My dad found out. Now my family knows. I'm in therapy. I still go through depression. It's bad. I shut people out. I shut out my best friend.. I wanna tell her what's going on but.. I don't know how. And a part of me doesn't want to tell her. For reasons. I've tried committing suicide too many times to count. What makes me back out? What will that do to my family? My friends? And the person who I love who will forever be unnamed because they're scared. And that hurts because it's like they're embarrassed of me. But I deal with it. I deal with life. I deal with the constantly aching pain in my heart. The heaviness in my chest. My mind. My thoughts. My demons. The depression. But.. I'm not sure how much longer I can stay strong. I'm not being selfish. I'm thinking of them. Are they thinking of me?

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