Catholic School Girls Rule [m.h + g.d]

| SIX |

"Your nose is bleeding," Gemma said, setting down her coffee, a worried expression on her face.
"Huh?", I asked, my confident smile fading as soon as I felt blood trickle down under my nose and onto my lips, some getting into my mouth.
I quickly reached for a napkin, putting it under my nose.
"Ew," I whined, that metallic taste in my mouth.
"Why is your nose bleeding?", Gemma said, her eyes almost a glare.
I felt my heart begin to race, my blood rushing cold.
"Hell, if I know," I said, almost in a questioning voice.
"Yeah," she said, taking a sip of her coffee and keeping her gaze on the table. "okay."
"What?", I said, a tint of anger in my voice. "You've never had a nosebleed?"
"Of course I have, but not after coming out of a bathroom looking all whacked up," she said.
The table got quieter than it was before, and everyone was now awkwardly looking around the room.
"Can we leave?", I said, my voice cracking and quiet, guilt eating away at my stomach.
God, I'm a terrible person. I really am.
Embarrassment.
Shame.
Guilt.
How was I going to stop this?
I felt my eyes sting with tears as Gemma nodded, looking into my eyes, a frown on her lips.
I held the napkin to my nose, that was still continuously bleeding, and stood up.
George, Adam, and Gemma stood up, too, pushing in their chairs.
Why was this bothering me? Why was I so sensitive? The cocaine wasn't supposed to make me so vulnerable. I can brush this off, but my brain wont let me.
As soon as we got outside, I lit a fag. It was easier now the wind has died down, and my nose has now stopped bleeding.
George and Adam looked at me, their eyes kind of sad.
I closed my eyes and leaned against the shop window, inhaling and blowing out the smoke.
My eyes opened at Gemma's cheery voice.
"Where to next?", she said, her voice bubbly, trying to enlighten the mood, I can tell.
God, do I always ruin everything?
"Let's just walk and see where we end up at," George said, turning and smiling at me.
It made me feel weird inside. Like, really weird.
So weird, in fact, that I actually smiled back, a blush on my cheeks.
"We can stop and get you a pack of fags, too," Gemma said as we all walked together.
Clouds of cold breath, ice cold hands shoved in pockets.
I walked in between George and Gemma, desperately trying to keep warm as their body heat radiated onto me.
I played with the bag of cocaine in my pocket, my nose itching for more. And since there was nowhere to snort it at the moment, why not try something else that would work?
I stuck the tip of my finger in my mouth, wetting it, acting as if I was picking my teeth or something. No one was paying attention. That's a good thing.
I opened the bag with one hand and dipped my finger in, coating my fingertip in the white powder.
I pulled my hand carefully but very quickly out of my pocket, and stuck my finger back in my mouth, rubbing it on my gums.
My eyes almost rolled back into my head at the sensation, my body feeling at ease.
I felt okay. A tad bit confident, even.
"You alright?", Gemma asked.
"What? Oh, yeah, of course," I smiled.
She shrugged as she stopped, nodding her head towards a clothing store.
"Wanna go in here first?", she asked. Everyone nodded, humming in response.
As George once again held the door open, his arm grazed my back, his eyes burning holes into me. We walked inside the store, and god did I appreciate heating.
It was a nice store. The walls were white, the floor was plain tile, and the lighting was bright.
It hurt my eyes like a bitch.
Everything felt kind of slow and hazy, but as I walked around the store, my eyes caught attention of an off-the-shoulder sweater.
It was black with roses down the sleeves, and I was immediately in love with it.
"You like that, don't you?", I heard a soft, deep voice say.
It startled me, but nonetheless, I knew it was George.
I jumped a little and turned around. I looked up at him, then returned my attention back to the sweater.
"Ehm, y-yeah. I do," I said. "I think I'm gonna buy it," I turned around quickly, my curls bouncing. "Should I buy it?"
"I think it'd look lovely on you," he smiled.
My heart begin to pound, my stomach fluttering with butterflies as I felt myself smiling.
"Thank you," I said, my cheeks burning.
I stood on my tippy toes, extending my arm to grab it, but I couldn't. My fingers grazed the bottom of the sweater, and I quickly became frustrated.
His deep laugh echoed throughout my brain, and I felt as if I was in a completely different planet.
Was it the coke or was it him? Was it both?
I felt a little dizzy.
I got off of my tiptoes as I watched him grab the hanger off of the rack so easily it made me wonder how a tree really popped out of a-
"Hey," I heard Gemma's voice say, a smile plastered on her face.
Maybe I was just super short?
George smiled at her, then looked at me with even a bigger smile, and handed me the sweater.
"T-Thanks," I said, my voice a whisper as I stared at him, then looked at Gemma.
"You look like you just did so much crack," Gemma said, looking into my eyes.
I swallowed hard.
"Well I didn't, don't say that shit in public," I whispered harshly.
Nope! I did cocaine, Gem!
She laughed and walked away over to Adam, who had about fifty-five million fucking things in his hands.
"You aren't getting anything?", I said, my throat dry.
"Nothing to get, really," he said, playing with his hair.
"Sure there is," I said, my voice almost inaudible. "There's plenty of things in here that'd look good on you. Have you looked around?"
"You want the truth?", he said. I nodded. "No, I haven't."
"T-Then let's go look around. Turquoise would be a nice color on you," I said, flashing a small smile.
Right now I felt okay. Clothing and fashion is something I can truly open up to when talking about. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was just thinking about clothing on (and off of) George that made me want to recommend things that would look good on him.
I threw the sweater I was going to buy over my arm and looked at him.
He smiled as we walked around the store. His smile was so fucking cute. I pointed to a red jumper.
"How about that? You fancy the color red?", I asked.
"Red is alright," he shrugged. "I do like blue though."
"I appreciate your honesty," I said happily. Seriously; I hated it when people lied to me to make me feel better. If I'm trying to help you, at least be honest with me. I'm not gonna get all emo if you don't like a shirt that I like.
He chuckled, and that really made my heart start to beat more irregular than it already was.
"What about that, then?", I said, grabbing a hanger that held a cerulean sweater.
It was plain but cute, and I knew for a fact George would look quite fit in it.
His eyes lit up and he smiled a toothy grin.
"Yes! I like that a lot," he said.
I smiled and handed it to him.
"It'd look really great on you. That color really compliments your eyes and hair," I said, my heart stopping as I realized what I had just said.
He blushed lightly and smiled even wider.
"Thank you," he said.
I hummed as we walked around more, the effects of the cocaine wearing off quickly.
I refrained from sticking my finger in my pocket. I don't know why, but something in the back of my mind told me it wasn't worth it. I didn't need it. Things were too good right now.
"You guys ready to go? There's more stores, you know," Gemma said, scaring the shit out of me.
I looked at George and he nodded, and I was fine with leaving if George was.
We checked out and each of us paid for our things.
We walked outside and my body instantly became cold again, a snowflake falling on the tip of my nose.
Gemma forced me to let her carry my bag, so I let her.
I pulled my sleeves down over my hands in an attempt to keep them warm so I didn't have to put my hands in my pockets. I didn't trust myself.
I felt myself begin to space out. My chest felt empty. Am I addicted? I'm addicted. Oh fuck. Oh shit. Fucking hell. I can't be. I can't afford that. Why am I so sad right now?
"Matty?", Gemma yelled, and everyone stopped walking, looking quite uncomfortable.
I looked at her, my heart racing.
"Sorry?", I said, my voice quiet.
She nibbled on her bottom lip as if she didn't know wether to be mad or not.
"I asked you if going to Adida's was okay," she huffed.
"Y-Yeah, that's fine," I said.
She hesitated, began walking again.
The sadness is becoming overwhelming. Is my medicine not helping?
We walked into Adida's, the rubbery scent of shoes making my nose crinkle up.
"Yuck," I whispered, immediately beginning to feel lightheaded.
I walked behind Gemma. Adam and George were talking, I didn't know what about. Frankly, I didn't care. I was too distracted with the feeling of anxiety and sadness gnawing at my stomach.
"These are cute," she said, picking up a pair of brown boots.
"Yeah, they are. You should buy them," I said.
She shrugged.
"Maybe," she said, and set them back down, continuing to walk down the aisle.
I looked around, too, but nothing caught my eye. I wasn't in the mood to look for a pair of shoes at the moment. I just wanted to go home and crawl into my soft bed.
Adam smiled at me. I smiled back. It was small, but I still smiled. He walked over to Gemma, and they walked together, looking at all of these dumb shoes.
Adam was sweet. He wasn't as quiet as me, but he was quiet. When he did talk, he was bubbly. His voice was cute along with his laugh. Adam was an angel.
George was an angel.
Why wasn't George dating Adam?
Why did George even talk to me at all? I'm a loser.
My throat went dry as my heart began to hurt at the thought.
I wanted George.
I looked at his hands.
They were so lovely and big. I wanted to hold them.
He picked up a pair of slides, and looked at me. He smiled and then crouched down, picking up a box with his shoe size on it.
"You're buying those?", I asked, my heart beginning to race as I realized that sounded quite rude.
"Yeah," he frowned a bit, and the look made me genuinely sad. He stood up. "Should I not? Are they ugly?"
I shook my head quickly.
"No! I was just wondering, because it's winter," I said.
"Oh," he laughed and smiled. "I'm gonna save them for summer, I guess. I really like them, and I don't feel like waiting till summer to buy them."
"I understand that," I said.
He smiled and held the box under his arm. We walked down the aisle together, following Gemma and Adam.
"So, Gem," I asked, breaking the silence with my quiet voice and thick accent. "Are you buying those boots?"
She turned to me and smiled.
"Oh, yeah," she said, and turned back around.
I nodded, not even caring that she couldn't see the nod.
We walked up to the register, and George and Gemma began to pay for their shoes.
"You alright?", I heard a soft voice ask.
I looked up at Adam.
"Y-Yeah," I said, flashing a small, fake smile and returning my gaze to the ground.
He shifted in his place, probably uncomfortably.
"George and his shoes," he said, laughing a bit, trying to make conversation.
He really was nice, and I wanted to be his friend, so I'd try my hardest to talk normally.
"Tell me about it," I said. "Gemma owns more than I can count."
We laughed as they came over to us with their bags, smiling.
We walked outside, our shoes crunching in the snow, our hair blowing in all sorts of directions.
"Aren't you cold?", I asked Gemma, motioning towards her bare stomach.
"Fuck yeah," she said.
"Then zip up your coat you weirdo," I said.
She laughed and zipped up her coat, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"I think this was a bad day to come downtown," she said as a huge gust of wind blew.
I stumbled back a bit.
They all looked at me.
Was I weak?
"Fucking hell, are you a piece of paper? A noodle?", she said.
I punched her arm playfully and she laughed.
More wind blew and I clung tightly to her arm, trying to keep warm, and also keep myself stable so I wouldn't blow away like a fucking umbrella.
Snow started flying everywhere. In our faces, our hair, our eyes.
I pulled my hood over my head and kept my face down.
"I think we should leave," she said.
"Yeah, me too," George said.
"God, me three," Adam said.
"Me four," I whined. I hated the cold, though I lived in it everyday. My body was a block of ice.
"You guys can come to our dorm," Gemma said, motioning towards Adam and George. "We can have some hot chocolate and watch a film."
"That sounds so good right now, don't do this to me. I just want to lay in my bed," I whined some more, pouting.
We finally got to her car, and as soon as I got in, I leaned back, the warmth from the heater engulfing me as she started on the car.
I felt my eyes flutter shut, and I fell asleep almost immediately.