The Truth Brought To Life

The Ugly Truth Comes Out

There are things in this world we do not understand and yet we never try to dig deeper, to look closely, to unbury the truth.

But.... What is that truth you ask?

It's what hides behind everybody's smile, what people don't want others to know.

I am this way infact, I lie to my friends, my family, my boyfriend every single day.

How do I lie?

Behind a fake smile of course.

Although on the outside I appear happy, put together, whole, completely sane.

I'm not.... Not at all and it's thanks to my mask.

Because on the inside, behind my mask, is a scared little girl banging on the many,many walls I have put up, begging to be heard, to be seen, to be understood, to be listened to..... To be freed of all this pain.

But I keep it all inside, buried behind a facade of a happy girl.

Some days I just can't take it longer, some days I just want to let my mask fall and to let them see the real me.

But I don't.

It would only hurt them, crush them, devastate them to know that I am broken beyond fixing.

What I wouldn't give to just be done, to just let it all go, to come tumbling out in to the open.

But I cant and you know why?

Because everything is not all black or white.

Because......

I am abused.

I am beaten.

I am starved.

I am alone.

I am neglected.

I am verbally abused.

I am covers in scars.

And it all done by me to myself.

Because......

I will never be good enough in my eyes.

I will never be who everyone thinks I am.

I will never reveal my true self.

I will never be that happy little girl I used to be.

Unless I'm dead........

But it will never happen for I am to much of a coward to die.

But one day..... One day I will get my wish.

I just know it deep inside.

And that is the ugly truth