Project HellFire

Chapter Three: Not so Smooth Sailing

Chapter Three.

Not so smooth

Sailing.

“Security breach, security breach!” The loud alarm woke me from my sleep as if I were a cat that had just been trodden on. My first instinct was to reach for my .44 magnum revolver in case of any sudden need to protect Bobby or myself from intruders (oh yeah Bobby and I share a room if you haven’t already figured that out).

“This is a security alert! All agents to defensive positions! This is not a drill; I repeat this is not a drill!” The security officer’s voice boomed these commands through the loud speakers in our room repeatedly to ensure that they were followed. “Max! Holy crap man I’ve never been in a breach before, what the heck do I do!” Screamed Bobby so that I could hear him over the loud speakers. “We stay calm, grab our guns, go to our designated defensive positions and kick the ass of who or whatever is trying to breach security,”

“But I don’t have a gun!”

“You’re in Tech support, you’re not supposed to have a gun. And on that thought, no one would even trust you with a Nerf gun! All you have to do is stay here and try not to get killed,” I explained to Bobby.

“Okay, stay here and don’t get killed, I think I can do that,” he gave me a nod of understanding and I strode out to see what was going on.

“All righty girls and boys, men and women, it seems we have ourselves an enemy threat! Take your positions, stand your ground! Don’t fire unless fired upon!” Believe it or not, but these orders were spoken by non-other than my Uncle agent SOUR LEMON who has been the agency’s training supervisor for over thirty five years! You may think it would be pretty cool if you were in my situation, however my Uncle goes out of his way to make sure I’m at the top of my game twenty-four-seven. “Ah, Max, get over here and show these “lemonheads” how to properly handle a freaking firearm!” shouted my Uncle. “Give it a rest man, everyone here knows you love us “lemonheads” half to death,” Announced some overzealous new recruit. Man, is he gonna get it next training session.

My Uncle and I glared at him because an agency official over heard the conversation and will probably report (not that it will change anything because my Uncles is the best of the best) to the Chief that a certain agent SOUR LEMON wasn’t going as hard on us as he should be. The overzealous agent looked away in hope to avoid our unwavering glares.  

“What’s going on? Who’s trying to break in?”

“We’re not sure, but their seriously kitted out. They’ve got the latest military hacking devices and weaponry, obviously they also have military training of some kind to have gotten in here and they couldn’t resist our chocolate and chips from the vending machine,”

“Any casualties?”

“Three Mars bars, two Mint Slices, 4 Milky Ways and the most shocking of them all….. Five packets of Doritos,”

“Not the Doritos!”

“Yes, the Doritos,”

“Ooh man, this guy is so dead!”

You may be wondering about both mine and my Uncles obsession with Doritos. Well let’s just say that one faithful eighth birthday I was given the biggest packet of Doritos ever! These would be the first Doritos of my life. And as I bit into its cheesy goodness my mouth filled with flavour! It was like nothing I had ever tasted before; I just had to have more. But as I reached into the packed for another one the packet exploded! That eighth birthday was also the day I absolutely owned my first assassin. It was a good day to be me. But back to the matter at hand, this guy was serious, well kinda serious. I mean he stole Dorito’s for goodness sake!