His Lover, My Mate

Seventeen: Negotiation

*Rush*

Rush wasn't cold-hearted when it came to mercy. He gave mercy as he deemed fit. Some said he gave more mercy than was required of him. He liked to think it was because he'd been through a world without mercy. There should be someone to offer it.

But right now, he didn't think he could offer mercy to Lucien. The first sight he'd seen when he materialized into Lucien's chamber was Lucien straddling his mate while she had been screaming with pure terror. The sound of her frightened, agonized voice haunted him, made his heart jolt. He hadn't liked it. It made dark memories of his past surface back, and he'd all but wanted to forget the centuries following his birth. But he couldn't. Not when his own mate had almost been raped by his enemy.

Lucien would have fucking raped her if Rush had arrived a few seconds later. And that made wrath burn through him.

At this moment, he didn't care about Aletha's betrayal. He didn't care that she had the intention to break her loyalty to him and willingly throw herself at another male. He didn't even care that she intended to hurt him, ruin him, and shatter their bond. He didn't care that he felt the agony in the bond when Lucien marked her even though he'd felt it all—the lust and the hunger she had for Lucien, the desire to mate with him. The pain wrapped around his veins, almost immobilizing him. He felt like his organs would tear out of his flesh. The bond wasn't breathing—it was suffocating.

Even so, he'd stopped caring. Because that dream to make her want him, accept him, and even love him, he'd let go of it. He'd let that dream go and decided that if she wouldn't acknowledge him as anyone to her, then they would both live in a permanent nightmare. He was used to it, and from the looks of it, so was she.

But he could never tolerate any harm coming her way.

After all, she was his Luna. He would always be her protector in the darkest night. That was his promise to her the day he marked her, and although she hadn't known it before, now she was beginning to realize that he wouldn't let her go. No matter how much she loved another male, Rush would always take her away. He would always make her turn back and look at him, not another. He would steal her eyes so she would finally choose him over somebody else.

For once, that was all he wanted. For someone to choose him first. For someone to stop condemning him for once. But all his life, he'd been the one nobody wanted. He was the one to be despised, condemned, hated. Cursed. It was a never ending nightmare. He didn't know how to wake up from it. He didn't know how to end it. He just kept living in it. Even with his own mate, he was never good enough for her to once look at him and think that maybe he deserved a chance. She believed he was the worst thing that happened to her while all he wanted to do was convince her that he could give her everything. But she didn't let him show her; she didn't want him. Just like his mother. Just like his father. Just like the Moon Goddess and the forces of nature.

He was unwanted. He was the useless bastard, the fruit of evil, the mate who deserved no love. He was nothing, and his existence caused strain in the balance of good and evil.

He didn't like feeling of turmoil in his heart. He hated feeling its hopelessness, like he'd something wrong when he never intended for her to escape and nearly get raped. He'd tried keeping her in his castle so she wouldn't escape and he'd even tried warning her of Lucien's dark intentions with her, and yet she still chose Lucien over him. It was like a slap to the face.

Rush turned away from her, as dark, wrathful emotions swallowed him. He knew he shouldn't be furious with her after she'd almost been raped, because he was familiar with it. He knew what sexual assault did to a person. He'd seen it, and he'd been through it. Getting angry with her right now would be insensitive, cold-hearted, and cruel. He wasn't cruel, and he sure as hell wasn't an asshole. He felt the toxic terror running through her system, and he didn't want to be the one to make it even worse, especially because he knew he could break her soul with what he wanted to say to her. His body was ticking to snap. He was a beast just waiting to be provoked, and that was dangerous.