Each bang of the fireworks above me sends waves of flinches down my spine. Like they would have done a year ago. It did that every other year before.
The lights that combust in the sky are bright and harsh. They could have been inviting and beautiful a year ago. They had felt like that every other year before.
In front of me, the people who would have been my classmates a year ago, howl and laugh. Like I would have done a year ago. Like I did with fewer people every year before.
Couples kiss and share warmth, their hearts beating in sync, their auras blazing beautiful hues of purple and pink. Like my aura could have done a year ago. Like I always wanted it to do every other year before.
One special couple sits on the rocks just a few feet in front of me. The guy has his arms wrapped around his partners' shoulders. Shoulders that I always wanted to be mine a year ago. That could have been mine every other year before.
The guy looks back at the rocks I sit on. He first looked sad, guilty. His eyes shined for a millisecond before widening at the sight of me. They wouldn't have done that a year ago. They never did that any other year before.
He didn't expect to see me watching him. He expected me to be miles away under rock and dirt in a tight space. A space I was afraid of ending up in a year ago. A space I'd only seen in movies any other year before.
His arm slips off the person next to him and he fully turns towards me. The person looks over and says something to him before glancing my way. They wouldn't see me, they'd only see these rocks. These rocks that used to be our favourite spot a year ago. These rocks that used to be the best spot to see the fireworks every other year before.
The person's eyes turn back to him and their mouth moves once more before getting up and heading toward the crowded beach house. A beach house I would have stayed at a year ago. A beach house I stayed at every year before.
He gets up as well, eyes still on me and walks over to our rocks. The rocks our relationship could have started a year ago. A relationship I'd wanted every other year before.
He sits next to me, tears gleaming like glaciers in his eyes, his irises shine each colour of the fireworks. Irises I would have been grateful to look into on these rocks a year ago. Irises I was so grateful to look at every other year before.
He stares at me as I stare at him. We stay in complete silence. A type of silence I wouldn't have anticipated a year ago. A type of silence we never shared any other year before.
"I'm sorry," he whispers softly, currents of tears racing down his face, one by one. Raindrops running down a window. Condensation flowing down a cold glass of water. Freely. He wouldn't have had these tears if it had been different a year ago. He didn't have these tears for me any other year before.
The types of tears you shed when you've lost someone.
"Happy Canada Day," I reply softly. He doesn't need to be sorry for something that wasn't his fault. Something out of his hands. Something no one was able to stop a year ago. Something no one had been afraid of any other year before.
He laughs through his whimpers. Really laughs. Whole-heartedly like I just said the funniest joke in the world. We both laugh. It feels good. It feels like what I could have felt a year ago. Like I felt around him every other year before.
"Happy Canada Day," he chuckles, his eyes still sad.
~Author's Note~
So yeah, I'm a little late at posting this, like 7-10 minutes late since it's 12 A.M. which means Canada Day was yesterday, sorry I didn't finish it in time. :(
