Having a pathetic crush on someone can make you either feel desperate or make you do stupid and awkward things.
In the case of my crush on Donghae it was the second option. Actually the swimming pool wasn't opend on the weekends and I had't went there since friday and I somehow felt like I needed a break anway, but on monday I went there again.
It was around early noon and I had just settled my things on my usual place, when I saw Donghae organizing a pile of kickboards.
I don't know what happened to my common sense right then, but I decided to walk over.
"Uum can you hand me one of the kickboards?" I quietly asked.
Damn Jiao, you're usally not like this!
"Sure!" he said without looking at me and took one of the kickboards. As he turned around his face showed a surprised expression. "Oh you've been here often lately, right?"
Did he really notice? "Thank you" I took the kickboard from him. "And yeah, kinda..."
"That's nice!" he smiled and went back to what he was doing.
Feeling flustered I went to the pool. Perhaps the cold water would stop me from blushing. Embarassing...
For the past days I had made some kind of plan of what I could do at the pool, so I wouldn't seem too clueless coming there every day. On the other side... some sport is always healthy, although it was summer and I used to be lazy as hell during that time of the year.
Around two hours later I was relaxing on my chair and listening to music, when I suddenly heard someone approaching me.
Slowly I opened my eyes to see Donghae setting one of the chairs next to me and my heart skipped a beat. Somehow I felt completly overwhelmed with my situation.
That soon changed as the brown haired boy spoke up. "You seemed a little lonely." he explained and leaned back on the chair, facing the sun.
Honestly I felt flattered, that he noticed, but I didn't know how to reply properly, so I ended up with. "It's okay, don't worry about me. I don't want to bother you."
"Tssk" he snickered and turned his head towards me. "Honestly maybe I'm the one that's a little lonely..."
"Why?"
"I was doing the summer job with my best friend, Hyukjae, but for the next to weeks he is on vacation with his family." he sighed "same goes for my other friends, though there aren't too many." and there was a hint of sadness in his voice.
"And I thought you were one of these popular kids who are friends with everyone." I said jokingly. Somehow I felt comfortable talking to Donghae, though my heart was still beating faster than it should.
"No, that's way to exhausting." he laughed. "Hey, how old are you by the way?"
"Uhh, I'm 18."
"Me too."
"Sorry, I forgot to ask, but what's your name?" I asked, even though I already knew, to keep the conversation going.
His lips curved in a soft smile."Lee Donghae, what about you?"
"Xu Jiao; my family is Chinese, but I grew up here in Korea." I quickly explained and immediatly regretted it; I shouldn't annoy him with my boring background.
Luckily Donghae didn't mind. "That's nice. So do you-"
He was cut of in the middle of the sentence by someone shouting. "LEE DONGHAE! I NEED YOU OVER HERE!" It was the woman, that worked at the entrance.
Donghae gave me an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I have to go. Maybe we can talk some other time." and with that he went off towards the entrance, leaving me finally blushing crimson red.
Lee Donghae just talked to me and even smiled!
Why did I even feel so awkwardly comfortable talking to him? Like I had always had a crush on him...
But unfortunately there wasn't another chance to talk to him, because he was busy doing all kinds of things at the pool.
I swear, I could've watched him forever; how he would sometimes take a break and just enjoy the sunshine on his face for a few seconds. Or how he seemed to always ruffle his own hair when something went wrong.
Perfection...
Later in the evening I went outside again. Since it was a warm day, everyone seemed to go out with their friends and have fun.
Meanwhile I bought an iced coffee and a box of grapes. With that I made myself comfortable on a park bench and watched the other people.
Summer holidays always had the same feeling;
the feeling of warmed up houses and streets;
the wind rustling in the leaves of the trees along the street;
sticky hands, because the ice cream melted wayyyy too fast;
not being able to eat anything big, since it's too hot outside;
wandering around, reading and doing nothing whenever you feel like it.
'I'm so lonely, no one loves me!' I whined to myself. This was also a part of my usual summer: being depressed and feeling unloved. Most people have this in autumn, but not me.
Eventually the hope that school would start sooner than expected creeped up to my mind, but I quickly shoved it away. School was even worse than summer depression.
I rolled on my back and looked up to the sky, which had exactly the color of peaches with little cotton candy clouds on it.
'Cute!' I squealed.
At the word 'cute' I thought of Donghae, though he seemed more handsome than cute... whatever.
Maybe summer holidays weren't too bad this time.
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a hug for your thoughts
