Dan's toilet troubles

The stroy

"Oi Dan, u fat cunt, where u at?" Said Phil, erotically.

Dialogue between authors:
(ohmyfuckinggod I was not expecting that I'm literally shitting)

"Oim takin a shet." Dan moaned through the bathroom door

"Well get done with your shiet soon, our shows gonna be on the telly right quick." Phil shouted very dominantly

"Ets a big one m8, I moight need a bit of 'elp. Oi didn't take me laxative." Dan said, embarrassed and blushing.

"Aight, guess I'm gonna have to record 'British weaboos take broadway' again tonite" Phil yelled aggressively, "Fecking 'ell" he muttered under his breath

"w-wait!!!" he stuttered. "i'll watch it wif yew  j-just 'old on oim almost done"

"I know when yer lien dan," fill shouted.

"n-no!" dan protested. "oi promise this toime, phel. just lemme do a quick enema and oi'll be roight out!!"

"Bullshiet dan" fil said as he flung open the bathroom door to see dan naked on the toilet with a fully erect penis.

"b-baka!!" dan said, startled. he blushed as he tried to cover himself, not making eye contact with his best friend.

"I told ya to keep the damn bathroom dor locked when yer taiken a shiet" fil complained, "guess yer just gonna have to lern yer lessin"

Dan blushed harder. "oim sorry, oi ferget some toimes." he lied. in reality he did it on purpose, but he was too embarassed to admit his feelings to phil.

Fil bent down by dans fully erect cock and began to stroke it, and getting faster and faster with each stroke.

":o!" dan said, turning so red it was probably not healthy. "pfil!!!" he moaned, clutching the toilet seat.

Fil put dans juicy coke inside his mouth and began to suck with the speed of a pornstar, it had seemed as if his gag reflex had disappeared.

"phel!!! wher did u lern that!" dan managed to say between moans. it was as if all of his sexual phantasies were coming true

Phill wanted to respond but his mother always told him it was impolite to talk with your mouth full.

Dialogue between authors:
(I only made the dick sucking scenario just to make that joke)
(omfg thats great)

Dan felt the familiar tug in his groin and he knew he was getting close. "pfil! oi'm gunna c0m!!" he cried.

Hearing this, phill removed his mouth from dans erect member and made dan cum upon his own chest. "Clean up the feckin mess ye made" phill said.

Dan didn't even take a second to regain his breath and immediately obeyed, leveling himself with phil and licking his own splooge from his chest seductively.

Phillip stood up and shoved his own erection down den's throat.

Dan choked like a little bitch, not expecting the sudden intrusion. he pulled off and licked the tip, teasing philip. Philadelphia was angered by this attempt to make Daniel look stronger than himself, so he grabbed the back of his head and started bobbing it back and forth against his erect member.

Dialogue between authors:
(the way u wrote that made it seem like phil was humping the back of his head so thank you for that mental image)
(No prob broseph)

Dan choked and coughed but somehow didn't throw up because he was magic or something. he quickly fell into the role of being submissive and let philanthropist do to him what he wished

After philosophy had cummed in dans throat, he later him on the ground, forcing him onto his hands and knees, and using the shit on dans asshole as lubricant, he entered dans tight asshole.

Dialogue between authors:
(o h)

Dan screamed in pain and ecstasy as phimosis entered him. dan pushed back against him despite the discomfort, wanting to make photopolymer proud. Hearing how loudly his lover had screamed, philosophical decided to go slow on his lover. Dan noticed the sudden change in pace and whined, grinding back onto phiroze. he moaned, "oi loike it rough, dont 'old back"

Photosynthesis wasn't convinced by this "ore ya sure? That screech didn't sound like ya loiked it very much"

Dan was already fully erect after just cumming mere minutes ago because he was a magical sex god, and so he used that to prove to phonology that he did in fact enjoy it.

"Okay ya can take control of the speed ya cunt" phantom said, annoyed that dan wouldn't accept that photo was going at a slower pace for his sake.

Daniel began to bounce on philharmonic's wee pecker at the speed of sound, making all sorts of erotic dying cow noises as he did so. Phase thought that the sound of Dan's dying cow was the hottest thing he ever heard. He splooged on impact. Dan felt physicality's juices inside of him, and immediately came on pharmacy.

"Oi Dan ye feckin cunt, ya ruiend my new carpeting"

"Whoi the feck would ye put carpet in the feckin bath room"

"Well maybe ye shouldn't be complaining about me carpet choices if unless you did shiet around the house" pho said as he got himself cleaned up to try to go watch "British Weaboos Take Broadway"

"Oh i see 'ow it es" dan commented, getting up off of the soiled carpet. "Yer just gonna leave me 'ere naked and dirty on the bathroom floor, ye prick"

"Yer a big boi, ye can clean urself up." Phat said with a smirk on his lips.

(WHY THE FUCK IS THIS OVER 900 WORDS JESUS FUCKING CHRIST