She sprinted barefoot down the street, her feet smacking the asphalt with splatters of rain splashing her calves. The cold spate began to numb her toes and her mind shut down. It didn't matter anymore, nothing mattered, only the rain and the street. There was no place to go; home didn't exist for her anymore. It was pretty clear, they didn't have to day anything, but she already knew from the start that she was unsought.
A loud crash of thunder started her out of her jog, causing her to slip to the side walk. In a daze she pulled herself upright, trying to ignore the dull ache in her shin. The ache grew predominantly stronger, turning into spasms across her whole lower leg. She couldn't run anymore. She was tired of running, from her problems, her mother, from her dreams. Why couldn't she have one thing for herself? Everything hurt, her leg, her lungs, and her heart. It was a weight that dragged her closer to the pavement until her cheek was bitten by the piercing roughness of rocks; the rain stabbing her back with the strength of hatred.
There was nothing outside with her. No cars to accidentally kill her, no birds to chip cheerfully. The rain fell in splatters leaving nothing unsoaked. Her long brown hair spread in drenched clumps across the concrete. Raindrops were creating a barrier between her and the rest of the world. So what if she was sprawled on the street? So what if nobody was willing to say they loved her? So what if she had to go through life alone? A sob racked in her throat, the tears pouring painfully out of her eyes. the salt mixing with the fresh water, creating tracks along her bare arms, causing more gooseflesh to break out.
"Why did you leave me? We were supposed to stay together forever! You promised you'd be there for everything!" It was a scream, mangled into unintelligent words from her wails. Even worse was the adenoidal quality in her speech. "You promised me Jordan! Even pinky swore! Why did you kill yourself? Huh? You were supposed to protect me from stupid boys and backstabbing girls! You were my best friend before you were my brother. What kind of selfish person leaves those they love alone? What was I supposed to do to stop you? i should have been there for you like you were there for me." All she could do was stare into the rain, praying for some type of answer from God.
Only lightening flashed in answer, light reflecting off the rain. It was in some way peaceful, except for the cracks of thunder. She didn't have the courage to cry anymore. It felt like Jordan was here, right beside her, crazy enough to stretch on the street with her. She could almost see his black hair plastered to his forehead, the dimple in his left cheek predominate compared to his grin. His deep croak of a voice reciting the definition of rain was clear in her mind.
"Rain is water that is condensed from the aqueous vapor in the atmosphere and falls to earth in drops more than 1/50 inches in diameter." She could remember back when dad was still with them and they all had lived in Ontario, they had spent long summer nights watching stars. Jordan teaching her about science and her creating myths behind the constellations. Every night they made their way home, tinkling around them was the cadence of wind chimes. Seared into her brain were those nights, for not long after Dad had left and Mom had become withdrawn from everything to do with them.
It was rare when their father joined them to stargaze. There would be no positive banter between Jordan and herself, no words left them at all, and they only listened to what their dad had to say. His knowledge of myths was appalling to the two of them. The night before he had left for good, he had followed them to Potsmond Hill. It wasn't any different than when he normally came. The scent of grass and lavender surrounding them, it seemed quieter, more solemn. They stayed in their silence for the night and woke up to the dew covering them, but their father was gone. Floating around them as they made their way home was the music of wind chimes from Mrs. Potsmonds garden.
It was the music of wind chimes that reminded her of Jordan the most. Not the baseball cards he used to collect or the god awful country twang songs. Tinkling of winch chimes were the memories of their nights beneath the stars come to life.
She felt weightless; nothing was powerful enough to keep her grounded to the asphalt. Her small frame almost hovering above the pavement.
"Mom loved you more. I know you thought I didn't know but I did. I valued you more than Mom or Dad. Jordan, I could care less if Mom loved me anymore. She's wasted away; she's not even human anymore. Your death changed her. I'm not even sure where she is; last I heard she was in Ontario. My foster family doesn't want me, they never did. Who would want to have the girl depressed over her brother? I hope you know I'm staying here for you. As much as I want to see you again, I don't want to die young. I'm going to live for the both of us. I see you in the stars and I hope you can see the beauty of them where you are." Her whispers were so soft they were lost in the power of the rain. Echoes of chirping reached her ears, discreetly happy compared to her worn out self.
The weight in her heart had fled, washed away by the water pure from the heavens. Jordan may not be with her anymore but no matter how hard anyone tried they could not take away his spirit or her memories. She closed her eyes, savoring the sensations of rain on her skin. No longer did it feel like numbing stabs of hatred but a gentle caress of love from her saviour's hand.
