Caitlyn Mackenzie

Rose

Meredith POV: 

It has been six weeks since Derek and I broke up. The worst six weeks of my life. Every time I see him in the hospital I want to talk to him, but he just avoids me. I don't understand what I did wrong?! Derek just decided that he was done so he broke up with me. He said that he didn't want to always have to deal with 'complicated.' He said we were done. At least this time he didn't call me a whore. At first it was relaxing that he left me alone because I was so mad at him. But after a while, I decided that I am still in love with him. After a few first dates, I decided that I am still in love with Derek. I don't know how to tell him. Right after the break-up, all the women in the hospital were trying to talk to Dr. Shepherd. I overheard the nurses talking that Dr. McDreamy was on the market again and soon after that he had a first date with a scrub nurse named Rose. I keep running into Derek on the elevators. Sometimes I run into him WITH Rose. that is SO awkward, but it hurts my heart inside. I am trying to move on, but everything I try doesn't work. I even got Dr. Wyatt as a therapist to help me. She keeps telling me that whenever I scrub in with Derek and Rose I should tell myself that Derek is with Rose. Sometimes I want to cry when I am in the OR with Derek. He gives me the McDreamy smile when we finish a case together successfully, but then when we are done with that case he totally ignores me. Acts like he wants nothing to do with me. Why does our relationship go from being so in love that he cheats on me in an exam room to being ignored by the one person I love the most. Derek Shepherd is my soul mate. I will never stop loving him. I wish I knew what he was thinking....

Derek POV: 

Meredith. She is ALWAYS on my cases and scrubbing in with me. I think I still love her. I do like Rose, but I think she is just filling a void that I need to fill since Meredith and I broke up. I could eventually like Rose a lot. Rose and I have had sex once and it was TERRIBLE. She was totally different from Meredith. She hurt me and it was very uncomfortable. Rose was enjoying it but the whole night I was thinking about Meredith. I have been avoiding Rose ever since. Also I have tried to put Meredith on my service every week just to try and talk to her. But every time I am about to talk to her, Cristina conveniently shows up. Anyway, I can't believe I thought about Meredith. I miss her soft touch of her lips on mine. I miss her warm hands all over my naked body. I miss all of her. But I could never tell her. She hates me. Or I think she does. But I can't read her mind. I wish I could though....