Trying to leave it all behind

Prologue

Here it is my first day in a new country. To say that I'm scared is an understatement and an overstatement at the same time and the thing is I don't expect you to understand because I don't even understand.

Everything is so big, how can everything be two times maybe even three times bigger than they are back home. I'm scared because I'm supposed to be. New day, new school, new town and no friends no one I even know. On the other hand I'm excited I'm happy that all my dreams are finally coming true. I wanted to live in the United states of America since I was about 10 years old and to finally be here is amazing.

In Aruba I used to shine out. What do I mean by that is that everyone knew who I was and I know some people would die for that but I don't, now that I know how that feels. Everywhere I used to go someone knew me either the bad stuff or the good stuff it doesn't matter the point is they thought that they knew me well I know for a fact that no one knows me the real me. They either knew the front I put up or they know the stuff they heard from someone else.

Reading that line I just wrote can it be that they knew me and I only know the person I want to be. Am I really annoying, stubborn, so much more thing that I just don't know how to put it in words. That is not all I heard I also heard from some people that I'm loving, caring, confident and a lot more good things. Some people see that I'm strong as in I may not be the most beautiful thing to look at and that got me bullied over the years but there are those people that come to me telling me that I'm confident even if I dont see it but I'm happy that they could.

Before I start a really important chapter in my life I would just like to thank everyone that saw the good stuff in me you guys helped me survive over the years. I would also like to say that I'm sorry to the people I treated badly over the years and I didn't even realize I didn't mean to. To all the friends I have lost over the years I'm sorry for not being the friend you wanted. I never threw out a friendship no matter how many times you guys turned your faces on me I was still always there I never changed and now I don't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. And least but not last to all the people who have hurt me over the years some people will always hate you but I am not some people I am me and I forgive you. I was never strong you guys made me strong believe me all of you made me strong.