Trying to leave it all behind

Chapter1

And here it is on a blank page

How can I wake up if I couldn't really sleep. It's finally here the day I know you're asking yourself what day the first day of course for the new me it's all about first. First day, first impression, first smile every new first is important to me.

I wake up an decide to get dressed the old me would just throw something on because she didn't care. Everyone knew who she was she didn't have a chance to make a new impression but I do and I'm not her well I hope I'm not there was nothing wrong with her don't get me wrong well I didn't feel like there was anything wrong with her but everyone did. Not that she cared what anyone thought about her ugh whatever.

I have new clothes I wasted all of my money like I'm a rich person because my previous closet was based on how much money I had but not anymore. I have my boots I always wanted boots and so many more new items.

I go through the rules again I will never let anyone change me. I still feel like the old me but the old me that I wanted everyone to see not the one that everyone used to see. Hang low the whole school doesn't need to know your name. Dont care what anyone says or think just be yourself.

I finish getting dressed and look up at my clock and saw that if I didn't leave right that instant I would be late for school and that is a bad habit that with this new life I was going to break. I already broke taking the bus when I bought my self my first second hand car. I took my keys from my dress and was leaving my apartment when I got the feeling that I was missing something I went over everything I was supposed to have I'm dressed, I have my keys what the hell am I missing I just couldn't put my finger on it so I got outside and locked my door. On the way to school I realized what I was missing I turned my car around on a one way street but I didn't care because I wasnt going to be late on my first day no one is going to remember me as the late girl. I parked my car and ran inside and there it was on my kitchen counter my school bag I took it and ran outside got in my car and made a perfect u-turn another first. I got to school right as the bell rang I closed my car as I ran to my classroom in an incredible pace. For the people who used to know me they knew I could run fast but that was mostly whenever I was mad. But those people also thought I was in America last year while I wasn't I just took a year of from school where I worked and saved my money but also I lost weight I'm no longer that 291 pound girl but now I only weight 176 pounds.

I already came to the school yesterday to check out where my first class was so I knew where to go I ran true the halls and reached my class 2 minutes late well not really because my teacher wasn't there yet no one saw me panting when I walked in because I stopped before I reached my class to breath and fix self but everyone was still staring at me in amazement if I only knew what I did. As I took one step in the class everyone started cheering and screaming and there went my first rule to hang low if only I knew what I did I stood there surprised as a few guys came to me saying that what I did was amazing. Still not knowing what they were talking about I asked them what. But our teacher reached and told everyone to sit down so I did. I was happy that he didn't ask me to introduce myself and I was smart because I didnt sit in the front nor totally in the back but I sat one row before the last one where I saw that no one was sitting as I sat I realize a few people staring at me I horror. First it's amazement then it's horror what did I do I don't understand why are teenagers so complicated.

Then girl next to me decided to talk "I don't know who you are but I like you after I saw you running like that so I'm going to save you by telling you that that right there is my boyfriends seat and he doesn't really like it when people sit in his seat." I really didn't like her voice nor her attitude but I had to choose either I could show her that I didn't care because that seat was empty or I can hang low be quiet and stand up.

I didn't need an enemy on the first day so I tried talking to her "Oh hi sorry I didn't know but I don't think your boyfriend is coming to school today do you think I can sit here only today because I don't really want the teacher to see me." I told her in a really nice way. She gave me a fake smile while telling me that her boyfriend is always late and he really won't like seeing me sitting there. Right as she finished her sentence the classroom door opened and this guy walked in with a motorcycle helmet in his hands "nice to see you mister Adams I don't know who you think you are but I am not like the other teachers of this school and I will not permit tardiness this will be your last time late to my class" said the teacher in a really angry voice. Mister Adams totally ignored him and stared at me. Oh I should have got up when I had the chance I totally regret it now not that I'm scared of him but he is going to cause a scene. "If I can see her every day that I come to your lame class I'll always be early." He finished his sentence still pointing his finger at me. The moment that sentence left his mouth I wished that I did the normal introduction and changed seats. I could hear the thoughts of the girl next to me or maybe she was just calling me a slut out loud. She didn't even know me was the thoughts going through my brain. When I came out of my shock I saw a tall shape standing in front of me. "You are sitting in my seat princess" he said with a smirk on his face. I was so angry at him for the unwanted attention and for giving me my first enemy that I didn't think about what I was going to say till it left my mouth but then it was too late "well it was empty and I don't see your name on it." The moment I said it I regretted it but I couldn't just take it back and let everyone think that I was either a pussy or a crazy person so I just sat there and looked in front when I saw the teachers face I realized that I had made a mistake. I returned my face to the guy in front of me and saw anger it wasn't visible to people blind to emotion but I had to hide my emotions all my life so I knew what hidden anger was. But then he caught my eyes and out of nowhere the anger that was there a few second ago was gone. He did something that no one in the class expected him to do he just walked away, no a no b just steps. Till he reached the back of the class and took a seat but still the damage had already been done. Then the teacher said something that I didn't want to hear "Hi miss sorry I didn't see you there would you mind introducing yourself please." 'not that I wanted you to see me' I thought to myself. But I still stood up confident not showing that I'm dying of nerves on the inside. Here goes nothing "Hi my name is Ylyana Stanfield I'm 19. I'm from a little island called Aruba don't think any of you heard about it though but it's a beautiful island in the Caribbean based on tourism. And yeah that's it.". So the rest of the class passed quickly with a few nasty stares from the girl next to me. Yeah I can't remember if she told me her name or not.

But I felt as if I was suffocating.