Swim in Satin

The Beginning of the Ending

    A part of me was dying inside. Everything in my being was screaming for me to turn around. My heart hammering away into oblivion and my brain straining against my skull. It was getting hard for me to breathe. I didn't want to do this. But it had to be done

For me.

The hushed whispers, the rumors, the eyes that looked at me in pity.  Was it wrong that I saw all this but still stayed? He was perfect in my love filtered gaze.

   After time, I saw the real him. He was manipulative. His smile I loved so much never seemed to reach his eyes. He used our connection to keep me with him for his needs and that was it. I didn't mean anything to him. Even if I was his "beloved," or at least thats what he made me believe.

"I'm leaving." I rushed out not meeting his eyes with my own. I mentally hear the snap of his last strands of sanity leave. Images of us flash in my mind fast and painful as if to convince me to take the words back. But I couldn't, not this time.

"Leave me?" He said in his rough broken English. It was like someone threw ice cold water down my spine. He questioned me but he knew. He wanted me to say it, to give me a chance to change my mind; maybe play this all off as some type of joke. My breath was coming out short and my head was pounding.  A slow painful pinching in my chest made me sling my arms around myself.  Tears were threatening to escapes from my eyes.

"I hereby reject you Ambrose De Santis as my mate."

     Finding whatever courage I could muster up, I lifted my head to level with his only to be met with a heated gaze.  My body was fighting against me. Even with eyes filled with fire, every fiber in me wanted to wrap myself around him; to lay back down in that king bed and pretend everything was perfect.

      My legs felt as if they were set in cement as I forced some distance between us.  He sneered at my movement. His enormous body was straining tightly by the movement of his muscles; a low growl formed from his chest. But he stayed where he was not showing any signs that he would be moving any time soon. I was thankful for that.

     Gravity tumbled down heavily on my shoulders. The curtains in the room shut out any light. It felt almost as if the walls were closing in ready to trap me at any moment. We were the only people in the bedroom but I felt as if a millions eyes were staring right at me. Something wasn't right and this time I wasn't going to ignore the signs.

Without a single word I turned and hastily walked away, chills running down my spine; I knew if I turned around he would be still standing there watching me. Tears streamed down the sides of my face and my vision was blurred. Each step was a stab in my back and my feet felt as if I was walking on fire. I slammed the door open in my hast and ran quickly down the main stairs. All the while, consciously wanting him to stop me.

      The house was usually bustling with loud music and laughter at this time of day but not today. Silence filled the halls and the living room, his bestfriend stood at the front door, his eyes searching mine quietly. He gripped the door handle and opened it just enough to let me through. I hesitated as a familiar scent waft up to my nose. Warmth spread across my back as arms wrapped around me.

Tears ripped from my eyes as my whole being shook. I was squeezed tightly by my sides as my lower back was drenched with tears.

"I love you."

"I love you too Abel." I said as I forced his arms off my body. I didn't wait for him to say anything else. I ran through that door and didn't dare to look back. Even though the eyes watching me from the upstairs window called out for me to.