Things are unfair. They just are, no real reason for it. At least for me.
The night was cold, just guessing here but maybe because it was raining. The rain didn't seem to stop. It was there since the evening. Everybody in the neighborhood were inside their houses getting warmed up and complaining about it.
I didn't get it. Well I don't get allot of things but this is one that I don't get at all. Why do people not like the rain? There are some who say they do but even they run inside as soon as they lose their umbrellas. The rain was one of the only things that could relax me.
While everybody hid themselves in, I had snuck out of my room through the window to get on top of the roof. I didn't take an umbrella or a raincoat or any cover. I let the rain fall on me. I let it soak me, make me feel cold, cool me down, and flow through my clothes to the roof below. I needed it, it was one of the few things that kept me going.
"Han! You shit get down here!" Glen yelled.
He was my older brother. The one person who had any real connection to me. By that I mean a blood connection , you know what people say makes you family? You may ask what about my parents and I'll tell you that I don't really know. They were never there, it was always me, Glen and our aunts.
"I'll be down in a second," I yelled.
They don't understand why I do this. They think it's because I'm depressed which would also make me suicidal and which would also make me climb up to the roof and jump down. They were wrong though, I just enjoyed it up there. Which is also only just half true.
It was months before on a day just like this. It was the first time I got on to the roof, I did so because according to Glen I had cold which would only get worse by the rain. I know, he is so caring and sweet isn't he?
So I got on the roof and was scared to shit at first. I thought I was gonna fall, the rain calmed me down a bit but it also made it worse by making everything so annoyingly slippery. Then halfway to the top I gave up, said "fuck this" and looked back for a moment at the house in front. Then I saw her at the window on the second floor. She looked tiny, not just because of the distance but she was thin. Scary thin, like she hasn't eaten for days. He face was a blur, her hair was messed up but long and light, it was constantly being blown away from her face.
I thought she saw me for a second but I realized she was focused on the rain drops. She reached her hands out to feel it, I swear she almost shivered. She wanted more. She got on the window ledge and held her out. Her light, flowing hair was now wet and stuck to her face. I know I couldn't see her face, I know she looked thin and fragile, I know she looked like a ghost but at that moment I found her beautiful. Not just the normal beautiful but the type that makes your heart feel warm when you look at it.
I stayed there staring at her for a while and she stayed there embracing the rain. I wish now I stopped her. I wish now I did something. When she hit the ground nobody heard a thing. Everybody in the neighborhood was inside their houses getting warmed up and complaining about the rain.
