today was just another dreadful, stress filed day. pain and confusion filling my head. MEDICINE that's what i needed, and lots of it. i didn't even care what kind just anything to take the voice's away. all i hear are the voice's, saying I'm no good, that I'm fat, ugly and stupid. of course they were all true but i didn't want to hear it from stupid voice's I'm my head, repeating it over and over and over and over again. they'd be different each time, different voice's. but always the same message. maybe i was crazy, or maybe it was people talking and I'm just hearing it. i glance around nobody there, except the hamster, i knew that damn hamster was judging me, wait no how can i be getting judged by a fu*king hamster. i was definitely loosing my mind.... i just have to lie down for a few minutes and close my eyes.
next thing i knew i was in my car parked out side of my school. i don't know how i got here, its daytime. everyone going inside. i decide to get out of my car and go to my locker, try to get a better sense of reality.
as i walk i hear people shouting "hey, JAMES. nice top there" i don't know why but i feel myself looking down at my top, blood. covered with blood. i don't know how it got there. hopeful i have a spare top in my locker. i try my best to cover it up. how did i not notice this before? i felt a sudden stabbing sensation in my stomach, i shrug it off just hoping it w\as me being embarrassed and nothing more.
i get to my locker, "yes" i whisper to myself, releasing i do have a change of cloths, i run to the public school bathroom. into a cubical and pull off my blood covered, white the clash top--yes i do like punk rock who doesn't like some classic rock music now and then-- but only to find more cuts surrounding the scars of the old, with red stinging new cuts. that must have been the stabbing pain earlier. when did this happen? how did this happen? did i do this? am i truly loosing my mind?
HEY THIS IS MY FIRST TRY AT THIS SORRY IT WAS DONE SO SH**TILY BUT ILL TRY TO MAKE ANOTHER SOON XX
