Peek inside my mind.

Introductions.

Once upon a time, I struggled with depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, self harm, family problems, relationship problems and the list just went on an on. Although just because it was once upon a time, it does not mean they are no longer present in my life. They are all... very much there. This book, or more short story if that is what you wish to call it, is not meant to be entertainment. That just made me laugh because we all know someone very twisted who enjoys other peoples suffering. Anyways, I'm getting off topic here. I'm up, it's 11:50 PM. What time is it for you? I was reading a book when I suddenly felt the urge to type. But not just a made up story or some dumb bullshit. Don't get me wrong, made up stories are just as great, I love books but what I'm trying to say is I wanted to let out everything I've been feeling. How I've been feeling...Does that make sense? So I thought, what better way than to write. I've always loved to write but the past couple months, I haven't been feeling like myself. I had spiraled so far out of control and I was in denial, I couldn't see that what I was doing was wrong, unhealthy. I have felt so lost, unheard. I didn't feel like I mattered. In the way that I felt I wasn't helping, contributing to the world. I ask myself every single day, who am I? Do you every ask yourself that? I also ask, what is my purpose here on this earth. Right off the bat, let me tell you. I am the least religious person you will probably ever meet. It's not that I haven't tried getting close to God. I have but it just never worked for me. Although that is no hate on anyone who does beileve because I think it's amazing to have that type of comfort. We're getting off track again, sorry. So yes, I asked myself over and over what I'm here for and everytime I ask myself, "What do you love to do?" Haha, isn't that the question you hear all the time? Teachers, parents, friends. What's something you love to do? Well for me, I have always loved to help people, connect, make people feel like they matter. I'm a big people person, which is so ironic. You'll get what I mean the further we get to know eachother. So, if you want to stay along for this, awesome. The only purpose of me writing this is to help someone, even if it is just one person feel less alone. Enjoy