Unexpected

Depression (Winter break pt.3)

I did bother getting out of bed this morning. What was the purpose of life, I knew that I would've gotten depressed earlier but I thought I had my family but no, Not even my family loves me.

Today when I did get out of bed and walked into the living room a note slid underneath the door and it specifically said my name. I opened the letter just to see all these hateful words written on it. The worst part was that it was signed from the whole school. I then found one writing from my family saying that they hate me and wish I never existed. I crumbled up the paper and threw it in the trash before sliding down the wall and crying.

"Where did I go wrong." I mumbled. I tried calling my Mom to see if the letter was real but it turns out my whole family other than Seungyeon changed their number. 'Am I really worthless.'

Instead of staying in the dorm for the rest of the week, I decided to go outside, but everytime I go outside I got more hate and more nasty letters. I couldn't take it anymore. I walked back into the dorm and grabbed the pain pills from the bathroom and I tried to overdose on them but nothing happen to me. This happened 2-3 more times this week before I tried cutting.

I walked into the kitchen late at night and got a knife out the drawer. I have literally gotten the worst letter possible, the rest of my family knew about what happened and them sending me hate letters wasn't helping. The worst one came from my mother.

I already had ten cuts on my arm and I just added two more before looking at my wrists. 'It could all end now, Nobody would find me until morning and by then I'll be long dead.' I brought the knife near my wrists right where the main vein was at. I closed my eyes. '3....2'

"Jungyeon don't do it." I opened my eyes just to have Momo hugged me from behind. I ignored her and brought the knife back to my wrist. "Please don't do it, You have so much to live for."

"Like what." I said.

"You're a wonderful singer with an amazing personality and you only have one more year of college before you start your amazing career.... plus I'll miss you if you go." She add in the last part.

"You didn't miss me when you told me to drink bleach, or when you were with that guy." I started to cry again. "I have nothing to live for, despite all of that not even my own family loves me anymore." I dropped the knife and like the Titanic I went down.

"I-I love you so much, it hurts to see the strongest person I know, injuring themselves on a daily basis and trying to the kill themselves. It hurts." Momo says as she tried to wipe my tears.

"Stop lying!" I yelled at the blonde before grabbing the knife again.

"I'm not lying, I would never lie about that. I truly do love you and it hurts." Momo says before hitting the knife out of my hand. She hugged me from behind crying. Jihyo came into the kitchen just to see a knife with blood on it and Momo hugging Jungyeon from behind, she saw the cut line and blood on her arms.

"Oh my god, nononono." Jihyo said as she grabbed the knife and move it away from Jungyeon. She ran off and wake up Nayeon and Sana.

"Jungyeonnie!" Sana says as she ran over to the brunette. She wrapped up her arms to stop the bleeding. Nayeon was wiping Jungyeon and Momo's faces off. Some of the other girls woken up by now to see Momo hugging Jungyeon from behind and crying her eyes out. While Jungyeon stood still emotionless as ever with tears running down her face.

The next morning all of the girls other than Momo and Jungyeon met in the living room. Jungyeon was still asleep and Momo wasn't going to let Jungyeon out of her sight just to risk seeing her attempt suicide again.

"I feel really bad for ignoring them the whole entire time. Jungyeon may seem like a strong person but at the end of the day everyone have feelings. I didn't know that she was depressed to the point that she was harming herself. Momo told me that she was just a second away from killing herself before she found her. I... I don't know how I would've reacted if I saw her lifeless body on the floor." Jihyo says.