The Adventure (Tomark)

Chapter 7

Mark shakes his head decisively and gets up. „Yeah, no. This isn't gonna happen."

„A-are you serious?" Tom, obviously distressed, stammers. He can still feel the other boy's soft lips on his own, his tight grip and his guiding movements. Damn, that moron was about to unzip his pants just a few seconds ago, evoking emotions and sensations Tom never thought existed — and now he interrupts it just like that? This doesn't make sense at all, Tom thinks as he watches Mark, who anxiously shifts from one leg to the other, in confusion.

„Uh-huh. Sorry, that shouldn't have happened..."

„But it did," Tom argues, his heart racing again, his voice worried, „a-a-and you participated!"

Now that excitement and arousal have faded away, the teenager slowly realizes what they just did. He feels panic and shame creeping up inside of him.

„Yeah, no shit, Sherlock," Mark groans and runs his hand through his hair. „I'm fucking wasted and just a man, after all."

Tom's eyes widen in disbelief and his hands start shaking. He has always been quite sensitive, never weepy though. But right now he feels tears welling up, and it takes a lot of willpower to not just burst out crying. Fortunately, he is brave enough to pull himself together. His night for the most part consisted of going crazy at a freaking amazing punk rock party, he doesn't want it to end with an embarrassing meltdown at an abandoned bus stop.

„Whatever man, sure," he, without looking at the older boy, thus replies quietly. This is hard. He kissed Mark and with this approached a man for the first time, and then the male in question rejected him, blaming the alcohol and 'just being a man'. Tom feels unwanted and miserable; that stupid kiss meant something to him, a lot actually. But he won't admit that and he won't try it again either, neither with Mark nor with any other guy. It hasn't been necessary until now and it will definitely not be an issue in the future, he just needs to resolve this and then he won't ever think of it again. Well, that's the plan at least.

Mark sighs and sits down next to the younger boy again, carefully touching his arm and looking at him with concern. „Hey, I didn't mean it like that, I–..."

Tom interrupts him. „No, it really is okay! I get it, everything I mean. That was a dumb idea and we are fucking smashed, so it's no big deal. And you're not into me, either. It's okay." He shrugs and smiles at his friend, but his voice sounds bitter, causing Mark to chuckle.

„You're a bad actor," he remarks, amused. „And you're on the wrong track, too. I mean, did you forget what I said about you being my type earlier?"

The teenager raises his head and frowns. „This isn't the best time for you to make fun of me..."

„I'm not! Hey, remember the first time we really spoke? I asked you to come upstairs with me, wanted to show you my band's demo tape and shit."

Tom shrugs again. Of course he remembers that day; he remembers every second of it, every word Mark said, every stupid joke and every time their eyes met. „Yeah, sure. And?"

The student laughs. „Demo tape, really?! And all that 'Mm, I like the privacy here' and 'College is soo lonely' nonsense? I just wanted to get in your pants!"

„What?!"

„I'm serious. I mean, don't get me wrong, I eventually started digging your personality, too, and hanging out with you as a friend became normal, but yeah, I kinda wanted to score at first."

„But that didn't happen. Why?" Tom wants to know, now sounding conciliatory again. He almost can't believe his ears.

„You didn't understand my advances and I eventually figured that you're not into guys, either. At least that's what I thought," Mark explains carefully, his voice soft. „Listen Tom, if you want to try these things out, that's great, I mean it. It's just... I'm not the right person for this."