Battle Scars [h.s]

Prologue:

Dear Diary,

Have you ever watched the light and happiness in your life flicker off in a matter of months? Have you ever had your life crumble apart right in the palm of your hands? Have you ever felt so broken inside, so hurt you just think you'll break in half with every little thing? It hurts. I've felt it all and it hurts. It hurts so bad.

I feel like I'm drowning in my own problems everyday and I just can't keep surfaced with all of it. I can't breathe anymore. Each day is just a challenge for me struggling to stay surfaced. And I don't know how much longer I can hold. I keep trying to push myself everyday to figure out everything that's swimming in my head, but I can't. I've even tried to num myself from the pain, the emotion, but I crack to easily and I break down.

I've tried putting barricades around me to stop everything from reaching to me, but I'm to weak to. I just crack some more and can feel all the pain rushing at me once and it hurts like hell. It's like throwing a glass bottle on the floor and trying to pick the pieces up to put the pieces back together. And you can't, it's merely impossible. And that's how feel with my life revolving around me. I feel dead, shattered, crumbled, gone inside and I just want it to stop.

I envy happiness, I envy it so much that I just may never have another spark of happiness in my life. I just want to give up. Everything in life is just so complex, that I just, can't. I can't do this anymore. I'm done with everything and I just can't. I just can't.

I dropped the pen in the book as I cried. The cracks in me fully broken down as I tugged on my hair to try release some of the burning pain inside of me, but nothing worked. So, I just screamed. I just screamed with my salty tears dripping down my cheeks. I just screamed.