Homestuck Plays

Game 1: Running of the Muscular Horned Hoofbeast.

Setting: A Balcony overlooking the beautiful cobbled streets of Spain.

Doc Scratch: (Teleports in) Greetings I am Doc Scratch or Mr. Vanilla Milkshake if you prefer. I shall be your gracious host as you view the events I have prepared for you. With the assistance of The Felt I have gathered the players from both the prescratch and postscratch sessions and organized a series of games and challenges they will compete in for our amusement. Now that I have taken care of the exposition let's join the commentators on the scene.

Setting: A blimp hovering over the starting line. The blimp looks as if it was designed by Martha Stewart and Adolf Hitler. Within the blimp a cherub wearing two headsets can be seen.

Calliope: Hello everyone I'm/ Caliborn: No one gives a shit who you are/ Calliope: Caliborn you said you would behave!/ Caliborn: Yeah, I lied dumbass.

Doc Scratch: (Teleports in) Will you two stop bickering and introduce yourselves already? (Teleports out).

Caliborn: Fine. I am the future destroyer of all you pathetic little bitches Caliborn./ Calliope: And I'm his much friendlier sister Calliope *pointed glare at Caliborn* and we will be the commentators for today's events.

Calliope: Today our human and troll competitors will be taking part in a famous Earth event called "The Running of the Bulls". In this event the competitors will take their places outside of a gate that separates them from the bulls. When it is time to begin the gates will open and the runners will have 100 yard head start on the bulls. The goal of this is to make it to the other side of town without getting trampled, those lucky enough to make it to the finish line will be today's winner. The rules are simple: All competitors must run on foot, No flying, No time shenanigans, No god tier powers or psionic powers. Now that the rules have been explain let's join Caliborn as he checks on the runners. Caliborn?

Caliborn: (Leaning over the edge of the blimp yelling down at the runners) Hey! Hey you! Yeah you! You're going to die. You're all going to die! The stupid bulls are going to trample all of you for MY amusement! Hey Hey! Don't ignore me dammit!/ Calliope: Caliborn stop that! They're scared enough already./Caliborn: They damn well should be.

Setting: Down on the cobbled road outside the gate. The trolls and humans are waiting for the event to begin. The frame focuses on John and Jane who are squeezing each other and shaking with fear.

Karkat: (Approaches) What the fuck is wrong with you two? Don't tell me you're afraid of bulls.

John: (Let’s go of Jane) And you're not? What, do they not have bulls on the crazy planet of yours? (The others stop talking and listen to John and Karkat argue).

Vriska: (Steps out of the group and approaches them) We do have bulls on Alternia John. They're these annoying little fairy things that fly around cuddling anything that won't immediately kill them…….. Actually, come to think of it, they even cuddle things that will kill them. One of those things was Tavros's lusus, so you can just see how pathetic they are.

John: Yeah, well, on Earth they are the exact opposite. On earth bulls are these big, sweaty, angry beasts that will gore and trample anything in their way (All the trolls proceed to gasp in horror as they realize how much danger they're in.).

Equius and Horuss:(Nepeta, Muelin, Eridan, and Cronus hide behind the Zahhaks) Oh my.

Equius: I would actually like to meet these Earth bulls.

Vriska: Wait a minute you mean to tell me that on your planet bulls are oversized vicious monsters? (All the humans nod in confirmation). Fuck ye- Wait! Where are Tavros and Rufioh?

Nepeta and Muelin: (Both peek out from behind the Zahhaks) They went behind the barrier a while ago. They said they wanted to see the bulls before the event started. I guess they missed their lusii and just wanted to see the bulls. Poor Tavros and Rufioh have probably been torn to shreds by now. :((