The Girl In Jeans

Madness

I don't know why they keep me here. They lock me up and isolate me. They say I have a mental illness. They say I am a threat to society and that I need to get better. They think I am insane. Mad.

Some days they make me believe that what they say is true. Some days I hallucinate that I am sick, that I need to get better and do what they say, but I am wrong.

Soon I jerk back into my reality. I am not sick. The world is an evil place. I need to hide from it. I hide under my covers, in fear that they will come again. The ones with the white gloves and the long, sharp needles. I am two people in one body. They fight and tear at each other until the host, my body, is worn and tired.

I do not eat for fear that they have put something in my food. That they are trying to force me back into the state of mind that they want me to be in. No choice. I crave the drug and loath it at the same time.

Two minds, one host. One right, one wrong. Which is which? Time is ticking.

Death stalks my mind like a haunted thought, breathing on my neck and sending prickles down my spine. I have not eaten in days. They hold me down again and pump fluid into my body.

I am insane.

I look in the mirror. A perfect reflection of the messed up freak that I am. Outwardly nothing has changed but inside, I am in turmoil.

Willingly, I agree with their every word. The fluid changes my every thought. I am insane. I am insane. I am insane.

I

Am

Insane.

Nothing

Can

Fix

My

Broken

Brain.

I sleep, my body and my spirit worn out. Sick and tired of fighting. Parched throat and starving eyes, I swallow glass after glass of water. Anything to quench my thirst. I eat and eat, consuming anything I can lay my hands on.

I am haunted by my thoughts.

I am tired of waking up each day.

I am tired of breathing

I am tired of living.

I am

Mad.

The darkness is a parasite, eating my mind, my heart, my energy.

Am I mad? Is it true? Should I listen to them? Yes? NO! The voices inside my mind scream, consuming my mind, thoughts and body.