A/N: Apologies to knives4cash for cribbing some ideas from “Make Love, Make War”, the first story of his/her RWBY fan-fiction Pollination: The Bumblebee and White Rose. That said, enjoy this story. Disclaimer: I don’t own Touhou (ZUN does), RWBY (Monty Oum/RoosterTeeth does), Hetalia/Nyotalia (Himaruya Hidekaz does), or Attack on Titan (Isayama Hajime does). I do, however, own Jakey and Collin, along with Thunderstruck. And, oh, lest I forget, Risk is owned by Hasbro. (Jakey’s POV)
***
“You’re shitting me, right?”
A certain blonde tips back in her chair, making no effort to contain that obscene smirk on her face. Marisa’s laughing her ass off, while her buddies show either no emotion whatsoever or (even more galling) mild sympathy. Thank god Jade’s not around to see this.
You may ask, “How did this happen?”
I will tell you: “It’s a long-ass story…”
***
“OI! Bottomless feedbag! Where the hell is everybody?!”
Sasha Braus’s ponytailed head swiveled around so damn fast I was surprised she didn’t drop dead from whiplash. Which she should have done, judging by the guilty look on her face.
“Huh?! What? Oh, it’s just you. Next time don’t scare me so bad!”
I narrowed my eyes to slits. “You haven’t been pulling a disappearing act on the Arabic food again, have you?” A pointless question, yes: I could see the remnants of hummus and bits of shawarma around her mouth. “You know I was gonna serve it up for the Arabian Nights party next Saturday, right?”
Sasha’s eyes widened in shocked surprise. “Why would I do that?”
“Cut the bullshit, Braus. I hate it when you lie to me.” She opened her mouth to protest, but I cocked an eyebrow, a devious smirk making itself known on my otherwise impassive face. “Or perhaps I should call that one girl you have a crush on. What the hell’s her name again?”
“You wouldn’t!”
“You wanna bet?”
Sasha went into full-blown panic mode. “NUUUUUUUUUUUUU DON’T CALL EMMA PEETERS PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE!!”
I cocked the eyebrow still higher. “You have a crush on the Belgian girl? Well, well. That’s a goddamn surprise…” Sasha did what appeared to be an older version of the time-honored I-gotta-go-potty dance.
"PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE DON'T TELL HER ABOUT THIS!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?!"
It took every scrap of self-control I had (which isn't much to begin with) not to totally wig out on her. "Then tell me where the hell everyone else is, okay? Now there's a good girl..."
"At the Hakurei shrine-thingy, why?"
I gazed sidelong out the kitchen window at that ungodly monstrosity they call a shrine across the street. It's either join everyone else and for pity's sake try to behave or get pissed off with the Tigers for blowing the damn lead in the eighth frecking inning again. Oh well. Some fresh air, I figured, would do me some good.
I turned away from Sasha (she was of no further use to me) and grabbed my sneakers. As I put them on, though... I saw it.
It was the box for Risk. Funny, I could've sworn Weiss wanted it tossed in the trash the last time we played it. Not that she was ever good at it, of course. She sucked royally at Risk, a source of much amusement around the House. And the last thing I wanted to do was sit around on my ass listening to a bunch of chicks talking shit about pathetic nonsense. This explained the manic grin that crossed my face as I dusted the box off. I could imagine the look on Weiss's face when she got her peepers on the box...
***
"Sweet lord, Ruby, didn't I tell you to burn that accursed board game last Christmas?!"
...And Weiss most certainly didn't disappoint. She looked absolutely livid.
