Perceiver

Chapter 4: Juggling Girls

Like we belonged in that moment?

But that was the exact problem, we didn't belong, because Harry already had a girlfriend. It didn't know her and I probably shouldn't have cared.

I didn't care. Maybe...

The school term was flying by at unnatural speed and suddenly the old Clara was making friends, what? This girl called Kayla was taking a music exam at the same time as me and we got to talking in the waiting room. She was cool and practically the opposite of me; sporty, blonde hair, tanned skin and an amazing flute player. I would never have picked it until she began warming up. She was a punk rock chick into music with a bit of sass. Kayla seemed a little too perfect that was until she started telling me about the 8 different schools that she had been kicked out of. So essentially she was your classic bad ass. Note to self don’t get on her wrong side.

I told her about myself and explained why she had never seen me round before and we exchanged phone numbers before I headed into my exam. The test was easy I had no problem answering the questions and what not, Music was like that to me, it almost came naturally but the whole time I had this nagging feeling in the back of my head that this wasn’t right. I wanted to be writing songs not just playing them, I wanted to take my guitar, violin and piano and create the notes on the page not just play someone else’s. I wanted the lyrics to be mine and the harmony to make sense to me. I think I figured out what I wanted to do with my life: down to the exact detail and I was ready to go do it.

The next day Kayla and I went out to do some sightseeing; Kayla had just moved from Ireland, although she had no accent, it was easy to tell she wasn’t from round here. We went to the London Eye, Buckingham Palace, Big Ben and we hit a few important streets along the way. It was nice to see my home again and learn more about Kayla. We had a lot in common besides our joint love for music. And the best part of it all was that not a single judgmental word came from her the entire time. She didn’t once try to question who I was or why she was hanging out with me. It was different and it reminded me very much of the old Harry.

And that’s what got me worried, we had just popped into a café for some milkshakes and on the way out we walked past a street performer. Now barely anyone new that I absolutely loved street performers. I used to stand there watching them for hours when I was younger and some nights I’d sneak out of the house and walk down malls to see them interacting with the nightlife. The young clarinet player was belting out ‘Rolling in the Deep’ by Adele. He was very good and as we walked past and Kayla noticed him, she abruptly turned to me and excitably stated, “Oh, you love buskers don’t you.” Before pulling out some loose change tossing it in the busker’s case and proceeding to pull up a chair and table from the café. I simply stared at her before taking a seat next to her.

Kayla seemed completely oblivious to the remark she had made about one of my favourite hobbies. I eyed her cautiously before asking her, “How did you know that?” She stared at me answering simply, with one word, the word I was least expecting to escape her mouth. “Harry.”

I didn’t want to look surprised but I did because she noticed the shock expression painted on my face. “What’s up?” I didn’t answer immediately as I attempted to forge my emotions into words. “You know Harry?” Again I asked myself, why did I care so much, of course she ‘knew’ Harry, he was the biggest douche in our grade. And why was I so nervous about her answer. Kayla chuckled, “yeh,” her smile then turned into a cheeky grin, “why…” She continued, as if implying something.

I plastered a smile and chuckled casually at her comment. The rest of the day went reasonably quickly as we continued to take in the sights of London town late into the night.

But the next day when school returned to my schedule, was a disaster.

Let’s just say Harry really needs to learn how to juggle his girls.

It went down like this; Kayla and I were walking back from class together I waited by her locker as she was explaining her version of Pentatonic Arpeggios. Suddenly my phone began to buzz in my pocket, just as Kayla closed the door to her locker. I quickly signaled to her, to give me a second as I picked up the call. The all too familiar voice on the end said one word; “when?” I knew exactly what the voice was referring too, but I just hadn’t expected them to call after I explicitly outline for them not to. I my hesitation I turned back to Kayla to find her and Harry lip locking right in front of my eyes. In my momentary confusion I quickly answered the question from the other end of the phone, “very soon.” I stated emotionlessly, before pushing the end call button and walking away from the scene.

Kayla talked to me in the next period, explaining that she knew we used to be close and that she knew all the stuff about because Harry and she had been dating. She thought I cared, which I didn’t, or maybe I did. My moods had clouded my judgment and the grouch on my face was showing it. Realizing that she thought I was mad at her I plucked a smile from thin air before telling her it wasn’t her fault and that I didn’t really mind.

Just quietly, I don’t think she believed me, I don’t think I believed myself. This twinge of jealousy kept eating away at inside of me and I really didn’t want it to because I knew that Harry and I were nothing, end of story.