A Human's Spark

BONUS - Optimus' POV

~~A.N.~~ This is going to be the previous chapter but lived from Optimus' point of view. From the next one we're continuing with Beatrice only. Hope you enjoy!😉. -Jisbee.

The night has been long and full of deep refelctions. Mainly due to what Beatrice told me yesterday before going to sleep. She didn't know, but I was seriously worryed that someone could see us talking alone. It's been since the first time that I saw that little human that something changed inside me and I can't and don't want let the others figure it out. I'm a Prime and the Autobots' leader and I must behave consequently.

When the rose sun peeks on the horizon I leave my place and reach the others who are recharging.

"Get up, everyone!" I call out loud and at my words my Autobots transform immediately.

During that small time frame my optics fly to Beatrice who is slowly sitting and yawning with a sleepy expression. I can't do but notice how the sun enlightens her beautifully. She could have been a sun herself.
I glance away soon enough not to be noticed by the others.

"We're leaving" I conclude with decision and we all transform.

I accelerate as soon as I'm certain that someone is carrying Beatrice and Cade and everyone follows me.

A new day just began.

• • •

After about six hours of travelling we stop for a lunch break - our human friends need it. And we take the opportunity to rest. I make sure that everyone arrived safely and seeing that also Beatrice is finding a quiet place to eat her lunch, I can walk on a near hill and guard the zone. The atmosphere is peaceful, the sky is of a deep blue and the sun isn't too hot thanks to a soft breeze.

As I sit here alone I am suddenly enshrouded by a nostalgic feeling regarding few days ago. I admit to very miss those talks with the girl. They were short yet intense. I honestly loved spending those days with her only. She is... a special one.
That is it: she occupies my thoughts everyday and I can't deny it. But I feel also a bit guilty because this way I'm forgetting Elita-1. I have loved her with all my spark. May it be the case for me to move on? I sigh.
Nobody must know anything.

At a certain point I hear some heavy steps walking towards me and turning I see Ironhide. It seems he wants to speak.

"Prime, how is it that you're always on your own? Deep thoughts?" his tone is easy.

I smirk even slightly.

"I'm on guard, Ironhide. Do you need anything?"

"Just to talk a little bit, is it possible? You know, you've been acting weird lately."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He approaches me and acts like he doesn't want to be heard.

"I'm still wondering why you chose her, Optimus. I have been your mate for ages."

That takes me off guard but I must hide it well. He just touched the wrong topic. Damn you, Ironhide.

"I can't explain it better: I had to keep an eye on her" I begin trying to sound as more real as possible "She could be unpredictable and I had to be sure. If the Decepticons took her she could have revealed our position."

"That makes sense. But I noticed the way she looks at you... She seems to be like under a spell every once you're around. If Ratchet were among us he would have confirmed... You know what I mean."

This makes me thrilled. I must hide an imminent blush and I turn back just a little bit, nonchalantly. How could he notice it? We're screwed up. Beatrice and I. I must fix the situation.

"Everything is under control, Ironhide. I need to have her this way to be sure she won't pass to the wrong side. It's been easy" I lie acting impassive.

Ironhide chuckles. I guess I convinced him.

"I imagined. But Optimus, are you sure you yourself are not falling?"

I wide my eyes briefly but fortunately he doesn't notice it. Ironhide is pushing this too further. I need to make it clear to him that he has nothing to worry about. Or at least, he must believe so.

"For who? For that desperate tiny fleshy creature?" these bitter words are even a little painful to say "Don't think this bad of me, old friend. My spark shines for another one only, even if she died, and you should know it."

"I do know, I haven't forgotten. Well, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I'll go and rest" he says and leaves.

Fortunately it worked this time. It's been hard but necessary. I sigh profoundly and I'm about to think that everything is alright when I suddenly hear a soft, broken voice just behind me.

"I understood" it says.

I feel suddenly paralyzed while I realize that something happened that just didn't have to happen. I turn around, afraid of what my optics could see. And I break.

Beatrice is standing in front of me, her cheeks are crossed by tears, her eyes - staring at me - are full of emotions but most of all disappointment. S-she heard me, is it? I can read the pain in her eyes - it's the same that I'm feeling right now. I find myself wordless for the first time ever. What could I say? She turns away and starts running. I'm astonished.

"Beatrice, wait!" I try to call keeping the Prime-attitude, but my words are just like the wind for her. "Y-you can't leave, Beatrice!"

How weak I am. I would have wanted to yell things like "you haven't understood anything!", "let me explain!", "please - don't leave me". I need you.

The pain grows even more aching when I see that Bumblebee takes her away. He brings her away from me.

And I? I can't do anything. Otherwise everyone would find out - it would be unavoidable. And I must avoid it. For my and Beatrice's sake.

"What's wrong with her?!" yells Crosshairs from the other side of the field.

I just can't move. I'd want to crouch down, cry and wonder why the world is doing this to me. But I don't. I must continue to be the one everybody expects me to be.

"I have no idea" I answer coldly.

It's so hard to be me.

"Girly things" jokes Hound laughing and I am very tempted to punch him right in the face.

The following minutes are dreadful. We spent a beautiful time together and I ruined everything. I haven't realized how much I cared for her until now. And it's breaking. It's difficult to stand it, even for me.

When Bumblebee comes back and I see Beatrice getting out of it I feel a little bit relieved seeing that she stopped crying and that she seems back in herself. I couldn't be more wrong.

I take few steps in her direction. I would like to talk to her, but I soon remember that I can't and I'm paralyzed once more. I just look down at her. I pray with all my forces for her to raise her gaze. I want to see her delightful green eyes again. I want to see that everything is fine, that this hell never happened.

But I get nothing. She strongly ignores me on purpose. I see how hard her gaze is. I can't stand it anymore.

As she gets back into the car I just turn away and take some steps away from the others. This is too much.

And I'm not able to keep down a tear that escapes my left optic.