you sat beside me in class,
I took little notice of it;
after all, it was just a seat
i didn't notice you,
the real you,
until later on,
where i would find it was too late
you had this weird aura about you;
i couldn't tell if you were always this cold;
or just to me
i spoke to you,
a lot,
even if you didn't want me to,
even if I wasn't usually the chatty type,
but i surprised us both
i would make stupid jokes and smart remarks and comment on everything out teacher said,
i couldn't tell if it annoyed you or not;
but it brought a smile to your face,
sometimes
we had proper conversations outside of class,
it made me content,
but what made me even more happy,
was when you noticed little details about me,
like how my hair was different,
a good different,
as you said
your ice wall melted,
eventually,
and i was happy to see that behind its tough exterior,
was a green field,
filled with flowers of all colours,
warmed by the radiant sun,
which you hid from many people
if i had known,
i would have said something,
but then again,
would i,
really?
perhaps in my mind,
but not aloud
foolish was too mild a word,
i wish i could turn back time,
just to that period in my life,
where you and i existed
even if it was all in my head,
even if i hadn't existed to you
i was happier,
definitely,
i felt almost giddy,
i looked stupid;
now i realise
but stupid is not the right word to call me now,
perhaps to sugarcoat it,
then yes
maybe if i said something,
before we left,
everything would have been different?
or maybe not,
since it was hard,
no,
impossible,
to tell,
what was going on in your mind
things like this end,
and you were just a crush,
and these were just some memories,
that would,
no doubt,
be lost in time
sooner or later,
but I hoped the latter,
rather than the former
nevertheless,
i wish you had known,
that,
je t'aime.
