Marcel (Harry Styles/Marcel)

Prologue

Roaming around the Bodnant Garden, the silent steps of my feet accompanies as I adore the cherry colored petals of aesthetic blossoms dancing around the green grass. The irises of the soul went on searching around the place, but was it serenity? As I enjoy the pleasant angel's harp coming out from the mouths of children, it made my heart sing with utmost bliss but there's one thing missing. I believe it was a string, it was sentiments and it was a vessel.

It's completely bonkers. But was it the valleys of love which will serve as the last piece of a puzzle? Reminiscing all the memories we cherished during the high school years was tough. Battling all the emotions coming back, thoughts of regret running like the wind blows, sweet moments flashing back were all in a vessel of nostalgia and euphoria. It was all the same. I turned back as I ran like the navy blue waves roaring through the ocean to find myself, not just in Wales but in a lost world.

And that string that secured the vessel of love was the only angel who I've wished to stay.

I'm so glad you came and that's the first phrase that ever comes into my mind when someone mentions you. I miss you and I still love you but I don't think those two common sentences are the right ones to speak. I miss the cold breeze of winter from London when the temperature's warm in here. I miss the people who became a part of my life including the ones who I think weren't meant to stay. I miss having less responsibilities and enjoying life as a kid and only bothering people we feel comfortable with. And that explains how I precisely feel towards you. I am becoming nostalgic and sad at the same time reminiscing our old memories and still loving the idea of you.

But I just don't miss you. I can't express these sentiments I've been having ever since they all came back from the day we talk to each other again. People say that we miss someone's presence because of the memories that became a part of our secret longings but somehow, it combines the both of them: the person and the old memories to a one vessel of nostalgia and euphoria. It is gloomy to say that I want you back and I have nothing to do about the situation but to move on.

Somehow, you became the best part of my 19th year of existence. Not just because we used to hang out with each other sharing jokes but also creating that moment which used to be the blast and highlight of our friendship. And that moment was our very own immature quarrel that happened on the first week of March. I know that it is quite bizarre to name that day as the highlight of being together but it is what makes the friendship grow into a better one. And from that day, I've finally learned a lot of things and I want to thank you for that!

I've learned to be selfless to the people we love the most. I've learned to love myself and we shall never love someone at the cost of losing yourself and you were one of my mistakes, to be honest. I'm not saying that being your friend or giving my full trust to you is one of my worst mistakes in life but it is to forgetting to love myself when all I focused in life was to bring you back. I attempted to steal you away from my brother during that time because I was mainly sad and angry to the fact of seeing you already hanging out with someone else when all I did was to wait for you and you didn't seem to care.

And I am really sorry for that. I am really sorry. Please forgive me. I just don't know what to do if I lose you the second time around. I don't know anything about your thoughts when someone mentions my name but I hope most of them are positives. But I deserve to be hated by everybody else because of my abrasive and childish actions and attitude.

Losing you today is totally fine with me. But actually, it isn't about losing. It is about letting you go off of my mind. I am finally enjoying life just by appreciating its beauty and creating more fun memories with friends from senior high and a little bit of quality time just by myself until the day I leave Wales and go on tour to San Francisco for my self-titled album.

Thank you for being one of my great best friends. Actually, it's just you and Lou but you manage to make me smile every single second of my life. I bet you don't remember this message "Why was the little strawberry crying?" and you replied "because his mom is in a jam" right away and you thought you're terrible at making jokes but you make me happy. From that night when I'm having trouble with my trust issues and you typed those just to make me smile, I thank God for having you.

From that day, I thought you're also going to treat me right but maybe just for the fact that we're only friends and nothing more. And having this friendship is all I'm thankful for. I'm not longing for a serious relationship with you because everything that happened between the two of us already became a strong bond for me. Thank you again for that.

And to the fact that you also broke up with your latest boyfriend made me pray more to God that you'll seek happiness in others. I hope you'll find the huge exhilarating experience with someone who's worth the wait. I hope you get to achieve bigger things in life. I hope you'll face the world with positivity and lastly, I hope you'll find someone better than me. A better friend who isn't just there to annoy you but to let you remind everyday that he loves you and you're always worth it. You are loved and I want to hug you just to remind you of that.

But somehow, maybe we won't get to see each other again. I love you and I miss you.

And thank you for being my greatest love!

I'm sorry for changing into a person you don't want to be with. I'm so sorry.

•••

NOTE: I've been saving drafts from almost two years ago since I really wanted to publish a book featuring Marcel Styles with a little twist. He isn't the type of Marcel who works in a business corporation sharing his ideas of One Direction that is shown in the music video of "Best Song Ever". Nope. I changed it and as a writer I'm always been, I wanted to share with you the work I've been writing for two years and yes, you can point out my mistakes since English isn't my first language. I am trying to edit a couple and mold this book into a masterpiece all of you will appreciate.

As a reward for giving thanks to all of you who supported me in one of my previous works, I am inviting you to the story of Marcel Styles and of course, our own baby Harry Styles. As of now, I'm definitely crying due to being nostalgic at the moment but I'm really happy for the boys. I still pray to God that they'll come back someday and I know they will.

Positivity! And I want to warn you something that will be remained as a secret since I'll be playing games with you, I apologize if I'll break your hearts for the next couple of chapters about the sudden news of a boy we all love. This is a work of fiction and I love my characters as well, so please don't spread hate.

Everything will be mysterious for the first few chapters. And I will prevent in writing a couple of author's notes to let the chapters flow with the story. Enjoy and peace out! Love lots xo