yellow (joji x reader)

chapter five- so were you

your pov
Joji held the door for me as I walked out, I gave him a soft "thank you" and we began to walk close to each other
"I usually don't take girls out to eat on the first date because I'm an absolute slob when I eat" Joji gave me a half smile
"Guess I'm just special" I nudged him a little
"Maybe you are" Joji gave a little smirk
We walked towards the park, giving small talk and little details about each other, Joji seemed to be very timid on some topics, but then very relaxed with others. He was interesting to me, but I feel I still didn't know enough about him
We sat on the ground, Joji leaned against a tree and I sat kind of in front of him
"So," I said, "what else do you want me to know about you?" I looked up from playing with the grass below me
Joji swallowed, "Uhhh well if it were up to me, you wouldn't know anything about me. It would just be all about you, but things don't work that way" Joji laughed
"Do you not like yourself, or something?" I bluntly asked
Joji kinda shrugged, "it's not really that, I just don't find myself interesting"
"Well it's no matter whether you find ourself interesting, I find you interesting" I smiled at him, he slightly blushes and looks down
"I make music," Joji began, "I really like doing it. I'm considering dropping everything and working on my music career"
"May I hear some?" I asked
Joji hesitated, "sure, come here"
I scooter myself next to him as he pulled some headphones from his pocket and slipped them in his phone
I look to the screen as he pressed on, " Will He"
I started to listen, I felt for him. I always feel when I listen to music, I always want to hug the artist, but this time he was right next to me. When the song ended, we kind of sat there a second, waiting for each other to begin talking.
I asked, "can we listen to more?"

Joji's Pov

We sat there listening to my music, kinda odd for me, but I liked her. I sat my opinions and anxiety aside because I liked her. That's something I haven't really done. I feel as if I'm beginning to grow more as a person, so this couldn't have been more of a perfect time to meet her.
After listening to my song Demons, I looked in her direction, to find she was already staring at me. "What?" I giggled, she smiled
"I really like you" she said, "I mean, as weird as it is, we just met not too long ago....but I dunno. I just....like you." She said sincerely.
"You're really attractive, you're kind to me, you're very talented..." she drifted, "I don't really know much about what I like, I've only been in one relationship and it was absolutely awful, but I just know that there's something I like about you" she looked in my eyes, my heart was racing. I wanted to kiss her, I so badly wanted to kiss her.
She looked at the time on her phone, "it's getting a little late, do you wanna go?"
I cleared my throat, "sure, I'll walk you back to your house"
We got up and started to walk, I shoved my headphones inside my pocket.
"This was really lovely" she said, smiling at me
I smiled, "yeah, it really was. we should do this again"
"oh completely" she smirked
We made jokes, we laughed, we smiled, we talked on the way back to her house.
That doesn't seem like much, but to me it was wonderful. it was everything to me. I haven't had a relationship in fucking forever, so maybe I'm going in a little over my head. But all I knew, all I knew, was that I liked her.
and it felt good to hear she liked me back.

We stopped at her door.
"hey, thanks for this" she said, "it felt really nice to connect with someone."
I smiled like an idiot, "I feel the same"
"Thank you for walking me home, and for the food" she giggled and put her hair behind her ear
"no problem, thank you for your company" I smiled
She looked around, "hey, actually. My roommate isn't here, do you...wanna come inside for a bit?" she looked at me, I hesitated
"if you're not busy, that is" she quickly added in.
"Yeah...I mean no I'm not busy but yeah I would like to come in" I put my hand behind my head
She giggled and opened the door, "don't mind the mess, it's all me I promise"
I laughed, "there's no mess??"
"I know, I meant im the mess, don't mind me" she smirked, "would you like a drink?"
I stood at the bar, "sure, water?" I asked
"Coming right up, my love" she said grabbing into the back of the fridge
My stomach filled with butterflies, I love that she called me that.
She gave me the water, "thank you" I said
"no problem" she winked
"So, you wanna see my room? watch some Hulu or something?" She asked
"Sure, im down" I said
We walked to her room, her very clean room.
She was very well put together, that seemed tempting to me.
We laid on her bed, basically ignoring the television, she made me laugh, I made her laugh.
We stared at each other, I observed her face and hair, the perverted side of me slightly glanced at her body...which I felt guilty for doing
I slowly caressed my hand against her soft cheek, she kind of froze, "is this okay?" I asked, scared I just fucked everything up
"Y-yeah," she drifted, "I'm just...not used to a gentle touch. I haven't had a gentle touch in a while." She looked down
"Why not?" I asked bluntly
"Listen, I like you. But you should know that..I've been in an abusive relationship, very abusive, so I may hesitate when it comes to certain things" she mumbled
My heart dropped into a pool of anger, sorrow, sympathy, and the pancakes we had for breakfast. I wanted to care for her, I wanted to show her how much I adored her.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know." I said, "we can take this slow. This doesn't even have to be a thing we can just be friends for a while. I'm not very good with relationships, but I just haven't felt like this with anyone and you make me want to grow. You make me want a relationship. I barely know you, but that means a lot to me." I paused, she stared. her face relaxed, she placed her small fingers on my face, I shivered.
I closed my eyes, "may I kiss you?" My voice slightly hitched.
I opened them, she looked at me
she leaned in, and placed her lips onto mine. I closed my eyes, she closed hers. I placed my hand on her cheek, she played with my hair. I moved closer to her, she smiled in the kiss.
she pulled away, and kissed my nose
I stared at her. Taking in her absolute beauty and grace.
"when did you wanna have that second date?" She smiled