Back And Forth

~seventeen~

"Where were you all this time Vedant?" His Mother launched at him the moment he set foot into his house.

He'd just looked up into her eyes when he felt her pull him in for a tight hug. She then went onto kiss the top of his head lovingly, and despite himself, Vedant found himself relax.

Maybe this won't be so bad.

"I'm sorry. I needed some time to think things through-"

"-what were the results?" His Father cut instantly. His work glasses sat nestled at the bridge of his nose and Vedant noted how he'd still not changed out of his office wear. Cheeks uncannily flushed Vedant realized, Meera was right after all. He had stressed his parents, and that was a very irresponsible move on his part.

"I failed in Tax. I didn't clear group one."

From the corner of his gaze he noticed Vidisha hold her breath, she too hadn't changed out of the clothes she'd worn to college.

"How?"

He'd expected anger and perhaps a lot of shouting, but this how from his Father was a bare whisper. His Father looked....shocked and even more than that, disappointed. And having to see that look in his Father's eyes he'd never thought he'd have to, all because of himself made him want to simply curl into a ball and remain like that forever.

"I don't know." He confessed, for he really didn't know where his hard work had fallen short. He really had worked very hard. And he wasn't any less disappointed in himself than his Father was.

"What will I tell Nanda Uncle?"

Deep breaths, Vedant.

"I don't know." His voice cracked in the end, and he knew if he didn't go to his bedroom soon he would probably create a spectacle out of himself by being a twenty year old boy who cries.

"What do you know Vedant?!" his Father snapped.

He took a deep breath in, and with all the courage he had within him replied, "That I need some sleep and time to myself. To decide what I'll be doing next."

And with that, he walked into his bedroom and launched himself onto a chair. Every moment, every second of his conversation with his Father played bit by bit in his head and unconsciously so, he felt a tear slip down his eye.

Even as a child he'd never understood why boys were taught not to cry in public. They were human too weren't they?

He hated himself for having accepted this rule too; for somehow, it had worked into his system. He just couldn't cry in front of anyone. Not his Mother, not Vidisha and certainly not his Father.

So that's what he did, in the comfort and privacy of his room. He cried himself to sleep. Somewhere in the middle of the night he sensed Vidisha come and lay next to him for consolation. He just gave her a tight hug; thankful; courtesy Meera's diary; that he at least had a sister he could confide in.