Tempted by love

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

I jerked awake.

The comforter fell to my waist and the heavy bang of a headache knocked on my head at the jumpy movement. I groaned. Last night felt like a dream, one that wasn’t truly real, but as I looked around and things came into focus, I could tell that everything that had happened last night was all too real. I slapped the palm of my hand against my forehead for being such a dummy.

Plus the morning sun was shining so brightly behind the gray clouds still hovering after the storm, it made my hangover feel ten times worse. I flopped back down into the softness, the fabric that covered the bed smelt heavenly like Mason. It helped calm my hangover and I wondered where he was, but I was guessing after last night’s near midnight catastrophe, he didn’t want to be anywhere near me.

I don’t think I could brave seeing his acid expression against me.

Not after I told him I knew he liked me and seeing only rejection for me reflect back in his black cold eyes. He liked me – I think we both liked each other – but he didn’t want to acknowledge it. I knew I could acknowledge my feelings, but facing refutation from him would only break my heart and that was not something I was willing to deal with. I don’t think I was strong enough to face heartbreak.

I didn’t want to get up and out of his bed, knowing that if I left, I would never find the same peace that I felt in it anywhere else. I purposefully shut my eyes closed and drifted off for a few extra hours, inhaling his scent that lingered around the bed.

When I finally decided to get and face what lay behind door number one, my stomach churned in sickness. I meandered down the stairs, the floorboards creaking under the soft pressure, giving me away; to the kitchen where I poured myself a glass of water and took a huge gulp. I noticed a bottle of Advil sitting on the edge of the counter and black coffee brewing in the machine. I can’t believe he cared that much!

Nevertheless, I took four Advil’s hoping it would kick in soon.

I heard some noise inside the study room and cringed. I knew he was there. My fingers tightened on the ledge of the marble countertop of the kitchen island listening in on any soft sounds coming in the direction of the study room. I quietly tiptoed back upstairs and into my room.

I think this had all gone way too far.

I no longer had the will to stay in this cabin with a man who couldn’t stand me. How much longer could we both go on avoiding and ignoring each other? I despised my father in that moment. He put me in this pointless situation. What was I even waiting for? For him to come back? For Mason to figure out a silly code? For insurgents to come and attack us? Screw it all!

I was so frustrated and angry.

The only rational thought occurring in my head was to leave. No one really knew who I was to General Hale. I couldn’t be used against my father as my identity was still in safe keeping. I could leave, find civilization in hopes of returning to my friends. Living life out there with them instead of this Crap hole. I took a long shower, trying to clear my head of my seemingly depressing thoughts. I didn’t want to be in this cabin.

Somehow I found myself kneeling at the foot of my dresser, emptying it out and stuffing clothes into my Prada bag. Tears pooled in my eyes as the more sane part of me was trying to reason in my head, throwing random reasons of why I couldn’t leave. But, they were all reasons that could easily be fought with my “get out of jail before it consumes you’ philosophy.

My head swarmed and reeled with thoughts of Mason. Whenever I thought of him I kept seeing his smile when we fooled around in the snow the other day. The way we could easily talk with each other even though mostly we’d end up arguing in the end. The way I had snuggled up in his bed when he had asked me to stay with him once. Argh! I needed to stop thinking about him. He was the only reason I hadn’t left. He was the only reason why I couldn’t stay.