Hold me all night long, even... if it kills you?

Take the plunge

Every day I wake up in the morning wishing I was never born, Martha Stewart would tell you that's not exactly positive attitude, but a child who was abandoned by her parents can't always be ecstatic about life.

When I was a kid, it was even worse. Graduating from preschool, making my first cake were things my parents should have been there to see. The knife on my back hurt more when I saw other parents coming to their soccer matches and karate classes to cheer them on. Even though, I would win the awards, my large brown eyes would search the auditorium for a man and a woman who would be smiling at me. Just at me. The disappointment made me cry at the end of the day, covering my mouth, so I didn't make a noise. When I was three months as they tell me my parents left me at the doorsteps of my Aunt's house. It's been almost seventeen years living in what I call a 'The House of Toads and Precarious Bastards'. I live in this house as an adopted child with two girls, a boy and their parents. Uncle and Aunt Gray were the creaters of the Facebook group, 'let's make Vanessa's life hell'. Sighing I opened the door of my bedroom. It was the first day of my third year in High school and if I said I was ecstatic, it would be an understatement, anything to get out of the house. Going down the stairs, I see Uncle sitting with a cup of tea and a newspaper in his other hand. Aunt Gray was in the kitchen making bacon as I could make out by the smell coming out from the kitchen. Uncle looked at me and smirked and he seemed to be mocking me.

"Good morning"

I mumbled a quick good morning but he stopped me.

"I didn't hear you. What exactly are you saying?" He said, deadpanned.

I groaned and said more clearly.

"Good morning Uncle Gray."

He smiled. "That's better." In the meantime Aunt Gray came in and placed five plates of bacon and omelette's. At the sight, I heard my stomach grumble. Eating an Oreo for dinner, was not a good idea. I scanned the table again and noticed my plate was not there. We are the house of six, not five. Noticing my look Aunt laughed, but it sure wasn't as warm as it should have been.

"Oh, I only found 5 eggs and a few strips of bacon. It's been a long time since someone went shopping right?" Her voice was on an edge and she was mocking me. Waiting, for me to break down.

"Just two more years." I mumbled under my breath. Just two more years, and college would be my escape route.

"Oh, it's okay. I wasn't really hungry anyways." I said, louder.

I remember buying a huge packet of bacon just a few days ago along with eggs and cereal. It's not like it finished so fast. She just didn't want to give me for the pleasure of seeing me cry. This was what I tolerated every day. Even though they didn't give me food, I was grateful they gave me a roof. Blinking back tears, I rushed out, narrowly avoiding my step sisters. I quickly got into my car, which was a knocked up second or third hand Chevrolet. It was black with a ton of Dora the Explorer (I know you still know the Dora song XD don't lie to me) and Bob the builder stickers from the previous owner, on the windows. Even though it was crap, I loved it. Working at a diner wasn't great money, but it helped me pass time, and the people who worked there were family.

I decided to stop at the diner to get breakfast, because that Oreo had done nothing to fight my hunger pains. I sat down on the car and grimaced when I felt the seat squeeze and make a sound like I was farting. It was totally embarrassing if someone was riding with me, and my friends rolled with laughter every time I sat down. Although, this time it felt like I was sitting on a piece of paper. You know when you're sitting on something and you don't want to get up and move the object? That shit is difficult. After a few failed attempts, I found myself looking at a crumpled dark red envelope. He got into my car? I frantically looked around at my surroundings checking if someone was looking, but everything seemed eerily still. With shaking hands I opened the envelope and the familiar dark red piece of papers slipped out. Before, when I first got them, I thought my sisters were playing a terrible prank, but the writing was way too mature and personal.