I never want to say goodbye; a John Laurens x Reader

Chapter 18

"Thank you for the best birthday ever" I say, and we both fall asleep.
Also this chapter is along the lines of something that happened to me.
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(Y/N)'s POV

     I wake up in my new boyfriend's arms. I smile and enjoy the moment while it lasts. Then I jump on him to wake him up. "Wake up its Tuesday" I yell. "Alright alright I'm up" John says while sitting up. I get up and walk over to my bed to change.

    We walk out the door together and to my first class. In front of us is none other than Maria and Thomas. John sees me staring. "Hey, don't worry about them" he whispers, grabbing my hand. I smile and continue walking. When I get to my first class, I decide to surprise him and kiss him. "I'll see you later, okay?" He says smiling. "Okay" I reply and walk into my class.

     When I sit down, I have a skull crushing headache. I look through my bag for some ibuprofen and find some. I take out the bottle and take 2 pills. I look at the side and read not to take more than 8 in 24 hours. "So if I take 9 there's a possibility of me overdosing" I say to myself.

     "Go ahead, do it" I hear an all too familiar voice say. I turn my head and see Thomas and Maria. I take 3 more. "That's not enough" I hear Maria say. "Yeah that won't kill you" Thomas adds on. "Fine" I say, and I take 4 more. I realize that this could possibly kill me. I push the thought away and continue with my classes.

{Time skip brought to you by not throwing away your shot}

     I walk into my class that I share with John. I sit next to him. 'What if I do die' I start thinking. "Hey are you okay?" John asks me. "Not really" I reply. "Why? What happened?" He adds on. "I'll tell you after class, it's a long story and it's going to make me cry." He nods in agreement and focuses on his computer.

     I wait until we get back into the dorm to explain. By then he's doing his homework. "I took too many pills" I say. His eyes widen. "W-what do you mean?" He asks. "It's a long story" I say. "That's fine this is more important than code" he responds. I take a deep breath and start to explain.

     "So I was taking ibuprofen for my headache, and I said 'if I take more than 8 there's a possibility of me overdosing" I pause holding back tears. John nods indicating for me to continue. "Thomas pipes in and tells me to take them, so I took a few more. I'm at 5. Then Maria says that-" I'm cut off by my own tears. John hugs me.

     "It's okay, I'm here now, what did Maria say?" "She said that it wasn't enough, then Thomas added on that it won't kill me" I take a deep breath. "Then I took 4 more" I say before breaking down into tears. "Hey, maybe you can convince someone to change your classes so you don't share any with those two" he says.

     I quickly shake my head. "I can't do that" I say. "Why not" he asks with concern in his eyes. "One, Thomas would kill me if I told anyone about him acting like this, and two talking to people gives me anxiety" I answer. "I'll do it then, because if you die" he gulps. I can see his eyes filling with tears. "I'm not going to go to your funeral. I love you too much to lose you" he finishes. A tear falls down his face and I wipe it away with my thumb.

      "Okay you can ask whoever you want to move my classes" I reassure him. "Is there anything else I should know about you that you haven't told me?" Laurens asks. "I have depression, anxiety, PTSD, and an eating disorder. My mother left when I was 12. My brother is practically insane and has tried to kill me more than once, and I'm tired of being told to kill myself" I tell him. (This is actually something I've told my friend)

     "I'm so sorry (Y/N)" he tells me. God I love how he says my name. I love everything about him. "Let's ignore today and focus on the important stuff, like how my birthday is tomorrow" I say breaking the unbearable silence. "Oh yeah that's right, figure out what you want yet?" John asks me.

     Unholy thoughts run though my mind. "I have a few ideas" I say. "Well can you tell me them? I can't read minds" he says. "Well that's a good thing" I say under my breath. "Why is that a good thing (Y/N)?" He says with a snicker. "Uhhhh..... no reason" I say in a panic. "Mhm, we'll get some sleep. I think I know what to get you for your birthday."