-1976-
I slumped in the seat next to John and let out a long sigh, my mind clouded by many different thoughts.
"Everything okay?" The bassist asked.
"Oh-yeah I'm fine. Perfect." I had the most fake smile plastered on my face to avoid any further questions.
Truth was, I was angry and and hurt. When Freddie and I admitted our feelings to each other, we had not yet discussed or confirmed what we were. I was hoping the next day he'd call me and invite me over or something, but I went days without anything.
At first, I thought it was because Queen had started working on their new album and they were constantly in the studio, but a whole week without hearing anything? I call bullshit on that.
I'd try calling multiple times but no answer. Me, Brian, Roger, and John went to the pub the other night, but when I asked where Freddie was, they said he'd gone off somewhere and couldn't make it.
I tried to keep myself busy. Eleanor and I went shopping, out for lunch occasionally, and went to some festival. I tried drawing but everything I did turned to shit. I was tired of waiting around for Freddie. And in all honesty, I was ready to just forget about him and move on.
John and I were currently on our way home from dinner. Him and Veronica were having issues so he wanted to get his mind off of it. I volunteered because I, myself was having relationships problems... if you can even call them that.
"Turn right up here?" He asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Y'know what... take me to Freddie's house. I have to drop something off there anyway."
✦
"Bye, John! It was lovely seeing you." I kissed his cheek and waved goodbye before he drove off, leaving me in front of a certain singer's house.
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Almost a minute later, a man with jet black hair and beautiful brown eyes opened up.
"H-hey, Lyd. What brings you here?" He said, knowing well why I had come over.
"I need another therapeutical drive."
"I see."
"Grab your keys."
"Okay."
Once in the car, I began driving. The two of us were silent. Night had fallen and the moon was shining bright. London was breathtaking at night. All the lights from the city made for beautiful scenery.
"What the hell is wrong with you." I spat.
"What do you mean?" He asked innocently.
"I poured my heart out to you-which you know is something I rarely do-and you completely ignored me! After I left that night I kept waiting and hoping I'd hear from you. But I got nothing. I told you about parts of my life I've never told anyone and I finally get genuine feelings for you and you avoid me?! You're a fucking bastard!" I yelled.
"Lydia, I'm sor-"
"Don't. And you know what's funny? I remember you telling me how amazed you were at how I kept it together after going through deep shit. But the truth is, I'm slowly falling apart and that night when we kissed, I believed I wouldn't be sad anymore. But you destroyed that."
I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like I was being pulled down to some dark place and I couldn't see or feel anything.
"You're broken, Lydia. And I was scared I couldn't put you back together."
"Well I'm scared too, Freddie." I whimpered.
I pulled over on the side of the empty road, surrounded by green fields and trees that were illuminated by the moon.
I rested my head on the steering wheel and began to cry. As embarrassing as this was, I couldn't bring myself to carry all of this weight on my shoulders by myself anymore. I had hit rock bottom and I didn't know if I could get back up.
"Hey..." The frontman put two fingers beneath my chin, forcing me to look at him.
"... I'm not gonna let you do this all by yourself. You're not alone. Not now, not ever. Because I'm here and I'll save you whenever you need it."
I smiled through the tears and wrapped my arms around Freddie's neck.
"I love you."
"I love you too, darling."
