Wine and Vodka

Untold Connection Part 5

Raj had no idea about the actual scene; his worrisome face disturbed me. He was helping me to stand on my feet and asked if I were hurt.

'How could I ever tell him that I was wounded with a  scar !'
It was not an external wound which could be visible; it was an invisible wound which was destroying my peace. I could not muster enough courage to face the facts.

I tried to say that I was fine, but I could find only silence floating in me. I was still holding Raj when he asked me to walk softly, that was when I realized that I had twisted my leg and my walk didn't have the stability. Riya stood beside, watching us with quiet eyes. When she saw me limping with pain she couldn't stop crying for hurting her momma. Raj and I had to make her believe that it was not her fault. I convinced her that I was the one who had not seen her coming. I should have been careful with my babies. She could finally believe us and kissed me with a smile.

Once Riya was convinced my heart found reason to look for Shivam. He stood far away looking into the vacuum. I was sure he was knocking himself out to fight his own feelings; the way I was driving myself crazy to fight back my own fears.

Raj called someone from the first-aid room and asked him to examine my twisted foot. I was advised to take some painkillers, as it was confirmed that I had fractured my foot. There was no nearby hospital so it was decided we would see a doctor the next day.

I looked at the concerned faces of Raj and Riya and managed to smile for them. I asked Raj about Alia. He said, ' Don't you worry. Wait, I will get her.' He got up;  when we saw Alia coming along with Shivam. She was jumping and laughing. I was relieved when I saw her without any trace of worry.

She came and hugged me and said, ' Momma, Shiv uncle told me he will come home and play with us. He can make kites and  also paper boats. I love Shiv uncle.'

How easily Alia could express her feelings for her shiv uncle! I asked myself, ' Why we adults  complicate things?'

Shivam, looked at me with concern. Reading his mind I told him that there's nothing to be worried. His smiling eyes gave me some relief from the visible pain.

That night, when all were counting stars in their dream world Shivam came and sat next to my bed in our tent. Raj was not there. He had gone out to check the guards on duty.

Shivam didn't realize I was awake and softly whispered,'I couldn't stop myself. I had to kiss you. I love you.' Shivam kissed my lips and left immediately leaving me breathless. It was the most beautiful kiss I had ever experienced in my life.

The morning sun was up in the horizon and we all prepared for our journey back home after breakfast.

Though the physical journey ended within few hours; the journey of my love had just begun. It kept pushing me hard in a faster pace. I tried to put a tight leash, but it managed to escape.

Raj was back to the bed after changing and giving Alia and Riya a warm bath. I was sure he was waiting for the right opportunity to know my mind.

I, wrapped in his arms spoke my mind,'Yes, I felt a connection with Shivam.I had tried to avoid it, but it happened. I had no control over it.'

Raj looked at me with a bright face and said, 'My loving wife, that's what love is all about; you have no control over it.'

He took my hand and placed it on my heart and asked me,'Listen to your heart and follow it. You know most of the men in our society have affairs outside marriage and they don't acknowledge it. And when, things go out of their hands, they just try to save themselves and forget that they had a partner in their crime and she should be saved too.'

'Remember, I don't want you to be a victim. I want you to be a player of your own heart. Pull the strings with love and compassion. Never add jealousy to spoil the music of your own composition.'

I knew I was always comfortable with Raj; but that day, I became conscious of a different kind of bonding developing between us.

My heart and mind took flights between high and low. Finally, sleep took over and closed every door of thoughts and understanding.