OCD | LS

26| Need

Louis' POV

Harry and I had an eventful day filled with laughter and fun.

This boy never failed to amaze me even when he wasn't doing anything. He was just so damn beautiful. We were sitting on a swing set at a park not far from my home when Harry spoke up in the silence of the breezy night.

"When I first came over we had a movie night and you asked me to grab some blankets from your closet. Remember that?"

"Yeah, why?" I looked over at him in curiosity to understand where he was taking this story.

"Well when I grabbed the blankets I noticed that your closet was mainly empty except for the blankets stored on the top shelf and the brown wooden box with the small lock on it."

"Yeah," I breathed slightly heavy. I knew where he was going with this.

"What's in the box Lou? Why is it locked?"

"It's something I've kept to myself for a very long time. I was tempted to throw it away but I didn't have the heart. My past is my past and I've learned to move on from it," I replied as I looked down with tears welling up in my eyes.

"I'm sorry for asking," Harry whispered as he rested his warm hand on my shoulder.

"No it's okay. I'll show you come on," I said as I lead him back to the car. He followed me hesitantly and slowly got into the passengers seat before I took off to the house. I took a right then a left and went straight till I pulled up to the driveway.

We went inside and took off our shoes then made a beeline to the bedroom. I reached up above the threshold of the closet door and grabbed a small key sitting atop the frame.

Then I pulled out the box and took a deep breath before unlocking it. Opening the wooden box brought back so many memories, too many in fact.

"Is this your dad?" Harry asked me curiously as he looked at the tons of pictures and small knickknacks.

"Yeah," shaky breath, "he uh- how I told you he left when I was younger..well I always blamed it on myself. He was gonna leave anyways and when mum broke it to him that I was gay we never saw him after that. She assured me it had nothing to do with me but I- b-but I-"

"Ssshhh Lou. It's not your fault." Harry hushed as he pulled me into his arms. He had one arm wrapped around me and the other holding up a small picture of my dad holding me up in the air with bright smiles on our faces. That was approximately a year or two before mum told him his son was gay. I was 5 then.

Found out when I was 7 and started to come home telling mum about all the pretty boys at school. She knew right away but I didn't realize it till I was about 12-13. I never saw it as a bad thing until dad left and I asked her if it was my fault for being gay. I didn't even know what the term meant at the time and every time I asked my mum she replied with "It just means you're special Louis," then she would kiss the top of my head and I'd believe her for a little while till I fell right back to wondering if it was my fault.

"I know it's not, but it still hurts knowing my dad left me at a young age. Ernie and Dori and the twins... they never got to meet him. That's the saddest part and I so wish I could've just been normal even for a second and maybe...maybe he wouldn't have left.." I whispered the last part as another tear fell down my cheek.

"Well you know what?"

"What?"

"Every single thing that you've been put through has led you here today and led you to meeting me. Every thing you thought was your fault back then has no affect on your now. Live in your now Louis because tomorrow or even 10 years from now I could be either dead or not in your life," he said causing me to look at him with sorrow.

"I'm so damn glad I have someone like you in my life. I never thought I'd have a boyfriend and an amazing best friend," I said to him as I cupped his cheek and pressed my lips against his.

"Let's cuddle Lou," he stood up and laced his fingers with mine while looking directly at me, "everything happens for a reason," he added as he kissed me afterward and nudged me to the bed. I excused myself to the bathroom before cuddling and washed my face.

I fixed my hair a bit then walked back in the room and joined him on the bed. I curled up in his arms submissively for the first time, and he held me close as I listened to his heart beat.

"I love you Louis."

"I love you Harry," I smiled gratefully as I traced a pattern on his wrist.

"Sing for me?" I asked.

He parted his pink lips to think for a moment before speaking up softly. "If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you.

I think I might give up everything just ask me to.

Pay attention I hope that you listen cause I let my guard down right now I'm completely defenseless. For your eyes only I'll show you my heart, for when you're lonely and forget who you are. I'm missing half of me, when we're apart..now you know me for your eyes only.

For your eyes only. I've got scars, even though they can't always be seen. And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing,"

My breathing starts to slow at his low, raspy, melodic voice. My body goes slack and my mind drifts away as my mind fades out into the blackness.

I feel completely relaxed for the first time in years and there's no one else I'd ever want to share this moment with except for Harry.

When my mind focuses back into the light it's morning time and I wake up wrapped around Harry like a baby.

His chocolate curls twist around his face and I push a handful back as I kiss his forehead and snuggle back into him.

I can't imagine a life without this boy.

-

Update ❤️

Notice the huge change in Louis' character as the story goes on. He starts off proper and prideful, then goes to needy of Harry, to fluffy, and now to vulnerable. He is making good progress and growing throughout this story.

Let me know in the comments how you feel about Louis fully opening up about his past!

AND DO NOT FORGET TO VOTE, REMEMBER EVERY ONE COUNTS IN THE WATTYS 💖