Big Time Rush Imagines/ Preferences

Insecurities and Jealousy (James Imagine)

"After the break, are James Maslow and Halston Sage getting closer, Are they getting back together? We'll talk about the rumors after the break"

You stare blankly at the screen. The question running in your head over and over again. How much of that was actually a rumor? You know its wrong of you to doubt James, after all he was your boyfriend, but all those late nights at "work" and his change in attitude, made the doubt grow bigger. You wonder if he knows how you feel. Does he know you cry yourself to sleep those nights hes gone? That your heart breaks a little every time you see a picture or article of James and Halston on the news or magazines? It hurts you to see that because to say the truth you've always felt insecure. You feel as if you weren't good enough for James, you're not the super model type of girl so now that you have been with James, you dont feel like you deserve him even though he's always telling you that you're beautiful. Well he used to.

His constant affection towards you is now gone. You're lucky if you get to see him for 3 yrs a day, but how can you see him more if hes constantly working. You turn off the tv, your not going to wait to see the report on James. You try to get your mind off the James/Halston thing so you do chores. As your washing the dishes you hear the front door open and close.

"Babe?" He calls. 

"Im in the kitchen" you respond softly.  He comes in and wraps his arms around you from behind, you quickly tense at his touch and he senses it. He leans in to kiss your lips but you turn your head so he kisses your cheeck instead. He pulls away with a very confused look on his face. You try avoiding eye contact with him and instead try to focus on the dishes.

"Is there something wrong?" he asks, you dont look at him and simply answer a no. He knows something is wrong. He shuts off the water and grabs you by the shoulders, turning you around so you're facing him. He grabs your chin and lifts your head up so you can look at him in the eyes.

"I'm going to ask again, Is there something wrong?" 

Suddenly anger boils up inside of you. How is it possible that he isnt aware of whats going on?

"You really dont know whats going on?" You respond with an angry tone

"No! I expect to come home and cuddle with my girlfriend but instead I get home and your ignoring me and not letting mr hug or kiss you, so could you please tell me whats going on?"

"You Want to know whats going on?! Whats going on is that on the news and so far every article i've see all have as the top story your 'relationship' with Halston!" you respond with anger and do air qoutes on relationship.

"You dont really believe that do you" he says back with an angry expression

you cross your arms over your chest, "I dont know, am I supposed to? I really dont know what to think James. Your always coming home late and then your attitude has changed towards me and for the last few weeks you've been less affectionate. How am I supoosed to feel. I bet you also dont know that every night your gone I cry myself to sleep."

His angry expression fades away and is replased with a softer one. "Bab-"

you cut him off,

"But I mean why wouldn't you want to get back with her, she much prettier than me, shes blonde, has the model bo-"

His lips crash onto yours before you even get to finish. He takes you by surprise but when his lips touch yours the angry starts to disapear slowly. It has been so long since hes kissed you and now that he is, your savoring every bit. It feels as if  he was taking all the air in you. He slowly parts away and looks into your tear filled eyes

"Baby what would make you think I dont love you anymore? "

"I dont know. You're not home anymore and Im so lonely. Ever since we've been together iv'e been feeling more and more insecure. I mean look at you, you're… perfect and then there's………me"

"Stop It!  I dont want you thinking that anymore. You're beautiful and I know I havnt been home much or that when I am im not with you and Im sorry for that, I really am. I hate myself right now for making you feel this way. I'm not with Halston or planning on going back with her, I have one of the most amazing girls Ive ever met and Im not choosing her over you. That is if you still want me?"

"Of Course I do James! Ive never stopped loving you. You mean everything to me and……… Oh my gosh I cant believe I ever doubted your love Im SO sorry"

you say hugging him around his torso and crying on his shirt

"No, I get it. If theres someone to blame it's me. I know its my fault, I havnt been the same with you. Im sorry, Ive just been so stressed with work and everything I just never noticed how it was affecting you."

He hugs you tightly and kisses the top of your head.

"Can you please forgive me and could we please just put this behind us."

you look up into his eyes and he looks at you giving you a small smile

"Of course babe, as long as you also forgive me"  you say.

"Of course"

he kisses the top of you head again then lifts your chin up and kisses your lips softly, then passionately.

"I Love You" he whispers in your ear

"I Love you too"

                        ________________________________________

Sorry if this imagine sucked, it sounded better in my head and the idea popped in my head one day so I decided to write it. How I always say, would love to hear some feedback from you guys. :)