As I lay here on my couch watching Catfish: The TV Show, I just feel overwhelmingly sad. My boyfriend just left for work, today is my day off. We've been together for two years and today I brought up getting engaged and he asked why I have to rush it. Rush it? I didn't know two years into a relationship was rushing it. I don't know about being with him anymore. I feel like nothing will ever change and he will never want to get married or anything. I actually have feelings for a guy that I work with and at one time that would've never happened. I wouldn't have found interest in someone else. But things are so different between my boyfriend and I now, I just don't know if I see a future with him anymore. And not because I don't want a future with him but because he doesn't seem to want one with me. I don't know. I'm so stuck and I don't know what to do at all. I have nobody to talk to. Nobody that understands, so basically I'm on my own. I can't tell anyone how I'm feeling because it looks bad. I can't tell anyone I'm talking to a guy from work and that I like him because I have a boyfriend and it makes me look like a piece of crap. But am I a piece of crap? All I want is for someone to love me the same way I love them. All I want is for someone to want to be with me forever. All I want is to be cared for. All I want is the attention I deserve. All I want is for someone to be loyal to me. All I want is to be somebody's everything. But I don't see that ever happening at this point. I don't know. I really don't.
