I Adore You: Back On

I Adore You; Two

Dear, Dear
••••
'Elisha I have never believed in such a word called Love, and being madly in love sounded humorous'
••••

If it isn't your personality since it does nothing but simply annoy me then what it is it, what has me still loving you?.

Is it your soft-lips or your inky hair and how at the end it curls upwards and cascades down your neck. Is it because of the softness of your silky hair and how I imagine it would feel like to play with it, the strings and strands of your dark locks feeling velvety in-between my fingers?. How it bounces at your every movement.

Your body-shape, the largeness of your biceps and how I dream that it would feel easy for you to carry me in them. The toned chest you always hide with the black-sports jumper, the long legs you march down the hallway with. The thought of you comes along with hulk, or Emmet Cullen, you are so huge.

Or the strange over-whelming heat I consume like a hungry beast whenever your presence is nearby. How odd is that?

Elisha I have never believed in such a word called Love, and being madly in love sounded humorous. It only happened on the screens, where actors and actresses had a role to play and a script to follow.

I attempted to rid you off my mind and toss the memory of having the thought that my feelings for you were nothing but realistic into the bin called the forever lost. I claimed that it was another way for reality to get back at me for the countless years I have believed, lived in the imaginary.

But then the beating of my heart quickened, I day-dreamed of you and I, I heated up whenever I heard your name. Elisha, my mind was constantly bombarded with hopes, dreams, fantasies and possibilities and then I figured out that my mind is not a fool, that I am not a fool. Its signs have been right in front of my face and I denied myself the permission to accept fact. My heart was never tricking me and the way my body reacted to you could never fool me twice.

I welcomed the thought of loving you, inviting it generously with no bites and protests. I examined your appearance, analysed your mood swings like it had told me so. And at first it was your lips that lured me in, how it stayed in a thin line whenever you were alone and without your friends. The gentle/ fake facade it hid behind. How the corners would perk upwards every now and then to anyone who dared to create a conversation with you, I know that behind that smile was irritation and the genuine in the so-called smile was only on for display.

Or was it your lustrous eyes, the large most captivating with a tint of royal gold.

Or was it your voice, the pleasing and strongest of it and how it holds me like a prisoner. Compelling. Always at your altar, how it was low and flat.

What has me still bounded to you?

We are different.

Different I confess to you.

In our first year of high school, we ventured into the dangerous hallways where giants and bullies roamed with their broad chest, long legs and handsome/ beautiful faces. All going and coming with diverse backgrounds, decorated head-scarves and traditional heads wears. Smooth dark-skinned colors, pale faces, tanned and bronze. Their growls and shoves held meanings which the hard-ship of being a freshman was not one to be taking lightly.

Yet.

You played with it gingerly, floated in the air with it like a weight-less feather. It came as easy as anything would come to you. And that fascinated me, still fascinates me till this night.

I snarled where as you side-stepped, I wanted to cause a fight just so that their thick-minds could understand to not mess with me. To not hurt me once more, to no anger me once again, to not have me bawl in the toilets and pray just so I could leave the school. I hated the high school, I loathed the teachers and argued non-stop until they'd give up and send me to the principle office.

Elisha you complimented the older students when really, there was an underlying joke in that compliment. You teased them. You avoided them at every chance you got, huddled into your little group of friends in lunch. Stayed on their good sides, even if your older brother was the highest guy on the social ladder you made sure that his success to popularity didn't give you a boost.

You climbed to the top like a King.

But.

You still try to remain unknown.

He had beautiful eyes,
The kind you could get lost in.
And I guess I did.

s.b

That's why.

I Adore You.