Brixton, 1900
Allow me to be cheesy and cliché for a moment, after all this is when my life changed for worst. So yes, I'll start with a Once upon a time because that's how all stories start, isn't it? Same opening line, same nonsense. And yes, I will curse as well because I hated my life and every time I look back, I curse every moment.
So, once upon a time, I was happy. I had dreams, I had beautiful life. I am also a believer. I do believe that someday I would find my own Prince Charming, someone who would love and treasure me. Just like in all fairy tales; just like what my mother would always tell me. Since, I am the only daughter of the duke of Netherlands whose power and wealth are unsurpassed; I must fall into marrying a man, who owns a royal blood; a wealthy and strong man who will be there to protect me and to keep our family's wealth secured. My father wanted no one but the son of the duke of Demacian. He's working in a Royal Air Force and had so much charity works. He is kind-hearted and very noble. And of course, he is rich; and for that reason, my father liked him so much.
He has this wonderful body, cheeks that are chiseled like a finely-carved Michelangelo statue. His nose is perfectly symmetrical. His lips are slightly full: the kind that end in a cute little smirk at the corners. I will admit I like him and marrying him will be the greatest joy of my life. I know I'm lucky for I have found my prince. But I guess my Prince Charming was not happy finding me...
..."Lord William Spencer, wilt thou have this Woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her. So long as ye both shall live?"
There was a moment of silence as everyone waited for his answer. I can sense that all the people who attended our wedding are all excited. Of course, I am too. For sooner the man beside me will be my husband and everything will be perfect. A happily-ever-after ending. Then, he started opening his mouth for an answer. I inhaled deeply, expecting for a "yes" reply but I was wrong. Totally wrong...
"I'm sorry Margaret. But I can't."
Heartbroken..When he slapped it in my face that he never wanted me. Pain..That is what I felt when he rejected me. Alone.. That is how I've been when he left me.
I bit my lip and looked down the street. Empty. Nobody was here to see me crying. No one's around to hear my plea. Bolting down the street I steadied my breathing. "In through your nose, out to your mouth" I chanted to myself. I picked up my speed until the cold made my legs numb. I couldn't feel anything but the chill slapping me in the face. I should have brought my robe. But no. The people around our courtyard might woke up and put me back to my room. I don't want to stay in that castle anymore; though this was the most beautiful place in the world. With hard marble floors, each tile chosen with a specific taste in mind. Beautiful paintings are seen all around the room. There is a set of double staircases, one on the left, one on the right. The railing of the staircase is exquisitely engraved with flowers and vines. There are six large stone pillars evenly spaced, to keep the castle standing. Each one is elegantly carved to accent the Renaissance feel of the castle. But no. I have to be away. For all I wanted was to breathe.
It has been a year and a half since he left me and for that, I should have moved on but I can't; I don't know how. I hate my father for letting me fall for a good-for-nothing man; for arranging that fail marriage and for choosing money over love; not minding my happiness. I hate my mother for giving me the idea of a happily-ever-after ending; for reading those classic stories and letting me believe that someday my prince will come.
"And I hate you LORD WILLIAM SPENCER for letting me fall in love with you and for running away during our wedding day. I thought you and I will be the 'perfect couple' in our courtyard but it seems that perfection was now filled with blemish. Why didn't you tell me that in the end, the whole story will seem to be wrong and unfair? I do not deserve this grief."
As I walked down the street, with a heavy grief, I didn't notice a man walking directly towards me. Without breaking his stride, his shoulder checked mine. I almost lost my balance, good thing he was able to catch me.
"I am sorry. I was not looking at...(stops as he remembered her face) Good evening your Highness."- said he
"Sssh. The people passing might hear you."-I said.
"What are you doing here in downtown? Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?"-said he.
Yes. He's true. I should be sleeping but I can't. I wanted to tell him everything but there were no words, instead tears came rushing. I leaned my head in his chest; we were standing in the middle of the road. Motionless. He understood.
After minutes of crying, I realized that I didn't even know the person I am with. Immediately, I pulled myself away from him and said my apologies. But he insisted to be my companion that night. At first, I hesitated. Then later I agreed. I know I needed him. Last thing I know, I was happy. The bitter memories drifted away and it was all because of him. He's a comfortable person to be with. It's as if I have known him for so long; as if my eyes have met his long ago. I don't know and I don't care either. Infatuation should I say.
* * *
I watched the fading sun sink lower from the porch of our plantation-style home. With trees that are reflected in the river; greens, yellows, red, oranges every shade in between, the dazzling colors glowing in the sun. This was the kind of life I've always expected to live. Simple.
I know I am a princess and I deserved to live a glamorous life yet I wanted to be happy. I'm tired of following my father's orders, his commands and his wants. Anyway, he doesn't show enough care when I needed him the most. He was to blame for my heart ache; for my bitterness. But then, I realized that no matter what the situation might bring, he will still be my father and I will always love him.
"Grandpa!"
She called her as soon as she saw her grandfather approaching. Hugs, tickles and kisses followed. It was a marvelous scene to behold. Though, he was not like that to me when I was a child; I'm still happy that I can see that he love my daughter so much.
Sarah' beauty is in line with the Greek goddesses. She had lavish, moon gleam-gold hair, alluring-galaxy-blue eyes; orbit round. She had puffy lips. It was satin soft. People say that she really looked like me. And I'm happy hearing that. Through her, I can say that I've changed. She's not just my joy, but my all in all. And if I would look back to yesterday, she's one of the people I will never forget, for she had brought so much happiness in my life. In our lives.
It has been three and a half years since I moved on. And I'm very thankful to the man who had been my crying shoulders the night I went out of that castle. Through him, I'm no longer cold or aching. I am now capable of looking at things positively. Yes, it was him. The man who I caught staring at me during my "worst wedding day". I'm in deep pain that time, yet with his stare, I was able to compose myself and smile at him. It's through his eyes that I found contentment.
George is my life now and of course my daughter, my little princess-Sarah.
